Hello Blog! A Quick Update of My Daily Life

hellooooo woooorrllld!!!!
looks like I've spent too long out there in my own world

many things have successfully kept me out of the blogging world
1st cause: my modem and internet connection have enjoyed troubling me for too long time
2nd cause: I've been busy making my self busy
3rd cause: I just honestly don't know what to write about

well, here's a quick - but not very quick though - update of what I've been doing:

I've passed the first semester of med school. not very well done but, yeah it was okay.
so far, my grades haven't been so impressive - since I'm a true procrastinator, I often started working on homeworks just a few hours before the deadline - but at least they're still safe.
they won't kick me out due to my grades. amin.

about my research project, I did make a research proposal - for the research module assignment - about MSG. only it's not about whether MSG might affect children immunity or intelligence. from some consults with the doctor who was facilitating my group discussion - who is originally working in the Department of Dermatology - I found those two thing have too many confounding factors. therefore I changed the research topic to: The Effect of MSG Consumption to Obesity in Children Aged 8-12.
I found out that I made some mistakes on my proposal in the morning of the deadline day but I was too lazy to make any revision so I just dropped it.
the result score of my research module hasn't come out yet, but I hope it won't make my IP (indeks prestasi /performance index) go on free fall.

aaand, I'm on end of semester holiday nooow!!! hasn't really felt like a true holiday though. I still have to go to the campus about twice to three times a week for re-registration for my next semester administration, meeting my academic advisor, and some student organizational stuff.
I also have been trying to work on my 'real research project' with some friends. we formed a group of 6, and we got a research advisor from Department of Nutrition. our topic is about calorie intake and nutritional status on people of different age range. but the progress haven't been so satisfying though.

anyway, I'm applying for these student organizations:
ISMKI (Ikatan Senat Mahasiswa Kedokteran Indonesia)
CIMSA (Center for Indonesian Medical Students Activities)
SM IKM FKUI (Senat Mahasiswa Ikatan Keluarga Mahasiswa Fakultas Kedokteran Universitas Indonesia)
TBM (Tim Bantuan Medis)
MA (Media Aesculapius)

okay, I know these are too much. I've been turned down by the ISMKI and I have no interest on sticking on CIMSA. so maybe I'll drop those two. three left but I'm focusing for Senat Mahasiswa and TBM only.
well, FYI TBM is unfortunately one of the hardest-to-get-in organization in FKUI. they require physical strength and strong medical first responder ability. so wish me lots of luck!

for the SM, at first we got to be interviewed by some SM's staffs of HRD. I was actually aiming for the Department of Community Service, but somehow, I've been mistakenly lead to be a part of the Department of Strategic Review by the interviewer. it's kind of filled with people who care so much about happening political and social issues - no offense, okay.
my other choice is Department of Education and Profession, but I think the work plan and
the people in it are quite boring - this is just my personal view, so no offense, seriously.
well, however, I still haven't been declared as part of any department of the SM board yet. but I think I prefer getting into the Dept of Strategic Review.

MA is the kind of student organization whose business in journalistic. anyway it is the oldest student organization existed in FKUI - if I didn't mishear. I'm just not so into it but I think it would be fun to be part of it.

soooo that's it for now. see you on the next update~


A FINER Research

helloooooo thereeee
I'm just so used to being busy 'til when I'm not even busy anymore I don't feel like I have some time to post on this blog.
so, I again have no idea of what to say.
about the title, all FKUI students are not allowed to graduate and be a doctor before they do a research. this has been announced since the first time we took our step in the FKUI. therefore our first medical module is also Research-1. and we were assigned for a pre-module assignment, to write a brief essay about the research we're gonna do. this is just a pre-module ass so it doesn't have to be the real research we're gonna do for the graduation, it is meant to train us to be able to think about possible topics for the research. anyway we can do the research and go for the pleno anytime we're ready for it, as it is before the 8th semester.
aaand FINER is the requirements for our research which stands for: Feasible, Interesting (which should be useful for many people too , New, Ethical, and Related (to medicine).

so here is the brief (but not really brief) essay about my research. I wrote it in Bahasa.

Pengaruh MSG Terhadap Imunitas dan Kecerdasan Anak

Oleh Nusaibah Nadia Juliafina, 1006684900


Riset mengenai pengaruh konsumsi MSG (Mono Sodium Glutamat/vetsin) pada anak-anak ini saya tujukan pada anak Sekolah Dasar usia sekitar 9-12 tahun. Riset ini mungkin untuk dilakukan dan cukup sederhana karena riset ini cenderung termasuk riset lapangan yang akan saya lakukan dengan cara langsung mewawancarai ibu-ibu atau orang tua yang memiliki anak berusia 9-12 tahun mengenai kebiasaan konsumsi makanan anak-anaknya kemudian membagi anak-anak ke dalam dua kelompok, yakni kelompok anak yang rutin mengonsumsi makanan mengandung MSG dalam jumlah besar dan kelompok anak yang jarang dan hanya sedikit mengonsumsi makanan mengandung MSG. Penelitian pengaruh MSG terhadap tingkat kecerdasan anak, dapat dilakukan dengan memberi tes intelegensi dasar kemudian membandingkan hasil dari kedua kelompok tersebut. Penelitian pengaruh MSG terhadap imunitas anak dapat dilakukan dengan memantau kondisi kesehatan anak dan kehadirannya di sekolah seperti berapa kali dalam sebulan ia terserang penyakit atau izin tidak masuk karena sakit.


Penelitian ini akan sangat bermanfaat untuk mengetahui serta membuktikan pengaruh yang ditimbulkan oleh konsumsi MSG secara ilmiah. Apabila terbukti bahwa konsumsi MSG secara rutin atau berlebih berpengaruh buruk terhadap kesehatan serta kecerdasan anak, maka hasil penelitian ini dapat dijadikan dasar untuk melakukan kampanye anti MSG seperti memberi penyuluhan pada anak-anak SD yang cenderung sering mengonsumsi makanan ringan berkadar MSG tinggi dan ibu-ibu rumah tangga yang juga cenderung sering menggunakan MSG sebagai bumbu penyedap masakan. Serta dapat dilakukan penelitian lebih lanjut mengenai batas aman konsumsi MSG agar kemudian dapat dilakukan penetapan batas aman penggunaan MSG dalam makanan ringan yang hingga kini belum dilakukan oleh BPOM dan Undang-Undang Perlindungan Konsumen.


Sejauh ini, belum ada penelitian secara khusus yang membuktikan pengaruh buruk MSG terhadap kesehatan manusia. Pada tahun 1975, Institut Pertanian Bogor pernah meneliti pengaruh MSG pada ayam, hasil penelitian tersebut adalah ayam yang mengonsumsi MSG mati. Bagian Farmakologi FK UGM bekerja sama dengan University of Western Sydney pernah meneliti pengaruh konsumsi MSG terhadap tingkat kesehatan dasar manusia seperti denyut nadi, tekanan darah, dan pernapasan dan ternyata tidak ditemukan pengaruh yang signifikan dari konsumsi MSG terhadap tingkat kesehatan dasar tersebut. Namun, Public Interest Research and Advocacy Center (PIRAC) pada bulan Juni 2003 lalu meneliti mengenai kandungan MSG dalam makanan ringan dan ternyata banyak produsen makanan ringan yang tidak mencantumkan kandungan MSG padahal banyak diantaranya yang memiliki kandungan MSG diatas batas aman menurut PIRAC, yakni 1%.


Salah satu alasan belum adanya penelitian khusus mengenai pengaruh MSG terhadap kesehatan manusia adalah masalah kaidah etis penelitian dengan manusia sebagai objek penelitian. Namun, penelitian yang akan saya lakukan adalah berdasarkan kebiasaan konsumsi makanan anak-anak, bukan dengan membuat seseorang mengonsumsi MSG dengan kadar tertentu, jadi penelitian ini tidah melanggar kaidah etis sebuah penelitian.


Penelitian mengenai “Pengaruh MSG Terhadap Imunitas dan Kecerdasan Anak”ini sangatlah terkait dengan dunia kedokteran karena fokus penelitian memang adalah pengaruh MSG terhadap kesehatan khususnya imunitas tubuh manusia serta terhadap tingkat kecerdasan (inteligensi) yang dalam penelitian ini objeknya adalah anak usia 9-12 tahun.


Hello Blog! -7Stars Doctor-

oh it's been almost a month full since last time I posted something in this blog.
it's been a really really busy month.
the life threatening faculty's student orientation just finished yesterday.
but it's not over yeeeeet there's still a 3 month long guidance period waiting ahead *sigh

i have no idea of what to say, so I'm just sharing one of my millions of essays for the student orientation assignment.

see you on next post~

7 Stars Doctor Required by WHO & FMUI

The World Health Organization has proposed an ideal profile of a doctor in the concept of “five stars doctor”.

Care provider. Besides giving individual treatment doctor must take into account the total (physical, mental and social) needs of the patient.

Decision maker. Doctor will have to take decisions that can be justified in terms of efficacy and cost. From all the possible ways of treating a given health condition, the one that seems most appropriate in the given situation must be chosen.

Communicator. Doctor promotes healthy lifestyles by effectively communicating with individuals and groups and empowering them for their own health protection and well-being.

Community leader. By understanding the determinants of health inherent in the physical and social environment and by appreciating the breadth of each problem or health risk doctor will take a positive interest in community health activities which will benefit large numbers of people.

Manager. Five-Star Doctor works and functions efficiently and effectively in teams, it is essential for a doctor to acquire managerial skills that enable them to initiate exchanges of information in order to make better decisions, and work within a multidisciplinary team in close association with other partners.

For Faculty of Medicine of University of Indonesia, the “five stars doctor” is not enough. Thus FMUI developed a concept of “seven stars doctor” which consist of two more essential skills.

Researcher. Every seconds we are mostly unaware of the world development in every fields. For example, overtime new viruses and diseases emerging one after another. Can you imagine if there is no such thing as a research?

Faith and piety. Believe in the creator of all that is created, therefore a doctor will not pass the border and remember that becoming a doctor do not make us Gods, and sometimes we can hope or even believe in extraordinary measures.


e-books for Medical Students Part III

Netter Interactive Atlas of Human Anatomy ver 3

Gray's Anatomy 39th ed on thepiratebay.org (requires Torrent application)

these ones on 4shared.com:

Gray's Anatomy 39th ed part 1

Gray's Anatomy 39th ed part 2

Gray's Anatomy 39th ed part 3

Gray's Anatomy 39th ed part 4

a cousin of mine said that Netter is way better than Sobotta, and Gray's is way better than any of them. he's a genius last year medical student, so I just have no reason to not believe him.
but Gray's is hard to just be found on book in conventional book store. anyway I haven't got one. any idea where I can find it on book?

P. S. I think I'm such a good person, sharing all this :DD


e-books for Medical Students

just click on the link and you'll be directed to the page to download the ebooks

all downloads are free

Guyton’s Textbook of Medical Physiology 11th ed

Ganong Physiology 23rd ed

Harper's Illustrated Biochemistry 26th ed

BMA Illustrated Medical Dictionary

Harrison’s Manual of Medicine 16th ed

for promblems in downloading, read this

I Want Somebody

I want somebody,
I could use as family,
I could use as friend,
I could use as a lover,
I could use as a pillow.

I want somebody,
who cares of me,
when the rest of the world only think of their own.

I want somebody,
who trusts me,
when I can't even believe in my self.

I want somebody,
who tells me what to do,
when I have no idea about life.

I want somebody,
who fix me,
after I broke my self to pieces.

I want somebody,
who forgives,
after I made a terrible uncureable mistake.

I want somebody,
who listens,
when I don't even know what I'm saying.

I want somebody,
who supports,
even when I gave up already.

I want somebody,
who holds me tight,
when I can't stop my self.

I want somebody,
who brings me back,
after I went too far beyond.

I want somebody,
who builds life with me,
when all that I do is tearing it down.

I want somebody,
who gives up,
when he knows he can do nothing but more harm.

I want somebody,
who reminds me,
of how much we used to love each other,
when all we think about is how much we don't love each other anymore.

I want somebody,
who stays calm and tells me 'everything's gonna be okay',
when our world is breaking to pieces,
and we both know nothing's gonna ever be okay again.

I want somebody,
who understands,
that I'm just like everybody else,
that I'm not so special,
that I wasn't born to complete him,
that I was destined to be whatever I am now and then,
that I was born to be me,
that to love me and be with me, is the life he keeps on choosing.

I want somebody,
who wants me.

and for somebody who would try to do all that for me, I would exactly try like hell to do the same in return.


In Memoriam: dr. Grey, Ellis

Ellis Grey in the eye of people of Seattle Grace Hospital (on Grey's Anatomy)

Christina Yang about Ellis Grey's diaries : "it's like the Harry Potter books I never had!"

Meredith Grey about Judy Doll: "I've always wanted one."
Anatomy Jane was the first and only doll Ellis Grey ever gave.

Meredith Grey arguing with her mother when she's suddenly lucid: "you asked what happened to me that I'm so ordinary? You. You happened to me."

Richard Webber giving advices to Derek Shepherd about his affair with Meredith: "I kind of have an experience of having an affair with a Grey."

Jackson Avery's Grandfather got something wrong and being taken to SGH: "page somebody who knows medicine! dr. uh Grey does she still work here? page dr. Grey!"
Meredith Grey who's standing in front of him: "I'm dr. Grey."
Avery: "are you kidding me?"
Meredith: "I'm her daughter. she . . . passed away."
Avery: "oh. page somebody else! Webber. page Richard Webber!"

Meredith, Christina, Izzie, and George used to watch Ellis Grey on action from the O.R. tapes as Saturday night movie.

P.S. if you remember more of Ellis Grey, just post it on the comment. thanks ^.^



let's talk about future.

well I was born in late 20th century. I was lucky to experience the beginning of a new century - which I consider not giving much difference.

I really think that everything has barely changed. from back then in year 1991 - when I was born - until today July 2010 - when I'm turning 19.
it's been 19 years but nothing has really changed.

cars are still car.

boats still sail.

people still walk on ground.

we still can't breath underwater naturally.

no flying bikes.

we still need to learn to know things.

no robots can actually portrays human.

somebody still have to die so we can do a heart transplant.

people don't live immortally.

no vampires have actually been found.

people still need food and air and water.

we still live on earth!

no android population taken over the earth.

nobody ever step on Mars.

no aliens have taken over earth.

the earth still rotate and revolve.

the sun still shining.

mankind still grow old.

babies still cries.

we still call shoes shoes.

no hologram based communication.

no living T-Rex have been found.

horses still can't make babies with dogs.

- okay let's stop there.

well the point is, everything is still pretty much the same.
and I'm not sure we would have such advanced technologies and lives even in 2020.
I think we'll still walk on ground in 2020. maybe the communication technology would show great advance, but I'm not sure we'll be able to communicate in 3D hologram in 2020.
there will be no vast changes in life.
well, if there's no massive disaster that will destroy the existence of mankind of course.
or if the aliens haven't found their way to earth and take over it.
or if we're not genius enough to make such brilliant android that can take over mankind's lives.

but there's one sure difference. one absolute progressive change.
the earth is breaking to pieces. dying.
well we caused it. continually and progressively causing it.

lesson of the post: go save earth! forget advancing the technology for a sec, you won't be able to see more advanced tech when the earth is already dead!

Death and Cries

I used to think that if many people cry when somebody died, it means that dead body was loved by many people, or those people loved that dead one. something like that.

then I began to think what if it was me who died. will people cry? will anybody cry?
I usually thought of it when I was sad and depressed, just got rebuked or scolded. especially when my mother just got really mad at me. I would lock my self in my room and began to think what if I die, will my mom cry? or even care?

well that was a long long centuries ago. I know my mother loves me. and she would absolutely cry if I die.

there are some relatives who are actually close in blood relation, but are not close at all to me. I don't think I would cry if they die, or even care. well I would have to care, but I wouldn't really care so much to mourn for their death. life would go on like it has always been to me.
maybe that sounds cold but, you should look in the mirror. you must have some conditions like that.

I don't remember I ever mourned for the death of somebody I loved.
the closest person I have who died after I was born was my grand mother from my father's side. but I barely even remember of any memories I had with her. I was never actually close to her, she was really old. she'd been really old since I can remember.

well I remember there's a time when we were spending holidays at my grandma's, she asked me to sleep with her that night. but I was a mere kid who felt awkward to even just sit beside a really old grandma. and she was so old and I was sure her bones were fragile and I was such a mess when sleeping. so I with all due respect said no. I really didn't want to hurt her, in any way. not by sleeping with her with the possibility of breaking her fragile bones, not by saying no and made her feelings hurt. I thought I made the right decision.

my parents also persuaded me to go sleep in my grandma's room. but the awkwardness won, I knew I wouldn't be able to stand the awkward feeling of being in a room with my really old grandma, trying to sleep side by side without kicking her on my sleep. I said no. so it's no.

I don't know how I'm suppose to feel now, because until the day she died, I still had never slept in her room, with her.

that going to sleep incident was probably the only thing I could consider as memories with my grandma.

she was quiet to me. and barely speak in bahasa. the things I remember she used to say to me were: "ora mangan?" (have you ate?) and "ora turu?" (why don't you go to bed already?) and "wis adus?" (have you took a bath?)
those words were probably the only javanese words I knew.

my grandmother died last year, at the age of 82.
I don't know how my father felt about her death, but he wasn't crying. or at least I didn't see him crying. some siblings of my father did cry a bit when they took her body to the cemetery. my father's eyes were red, but he wasn't crying - I knew cuz I'd been watching people's face all the time that moment.

well maybe it was because she died old. at old age, by natural diseases the elderly used to have.
all her kids have grown old too, they've had kids too. they've lived separately from her for a long time.

and my father's family are chinese. they don't actually mourn of someone's death. they held something my father called 'death party' when a family died. they set a place at home or at a funeral home for the coffin with the dead body, and set a corner for memorial prayers, and people will come to send their sympathy and the family will have to set place for the guests to sit and talk and also serve them with food and drinks. the length of this 'death party' may vary, based on the wealthyness of the family. the longer it be held, the wealthier the family are - or the more they mourn of the dead one, this was how it suppose to mean. my grandma's was 4 days.

and there's another thing, if a chinese person died above 80 years old, the family shall dress in red on the funeral instead of white, as it used to be when a younger chinese died.
I wasn't wearing red, I didn't bring any red clothes and didn't have any. but it was okay, we weren't so much sticking to the tradition and none of us were really wearing all red after all.

there were two other people I know who died when I'm on teen age. one was my grandmother's - from my mother's side - older sister. she died of old age sickness. she died old too. but she was really sick. she'd been sick for some time until the doctors decided to ask her family to whether pull the plug or keep her. she wasn't going to get better, and she'd must been suffering from a lot of pain. so the family decided to pull the plug. her children have grown up and have had kids too, but they were crying. they coped soon after, but it was hard for them to decide to let go of their mother.

the other one was my old friend. we went to the same kindergarten and elementary school and also to junior high. but I was never close to her. I just knew her, we were in the same class three times, but I'd never really knew her.
when I heard that she died, I didn't really feel much feeling.
she died of a very terrible accident. she was riding her motorbike when a giant truck suddenly crushed into her.
that moment what I was thinking about were rationalities and possibilities. I thought of her body, she must have been crushed so badly, maybe her family could barely recognize her. she was a small kid. she had always been small and tiny, I would've never let her ride a motorbike on her own if I were her parents. her house was away from her school, her parents should've set a time to take her to school.
those were all I was thinking about. I didn't even come to her funeral, I was at school when they buried her.
however I did go to her place some couple days after, with an old junior high friend who also couldn't make it to the funeral.
we met her parents. I could see it must have been really hard for them. my mother thought she was an only child, she sent her deepest sympathies for the parents. but when I came, there was a little girl. still in toddler age, she was her little sister. so the parents did not lose all that they had after all. I thanked God for that.
but I could see that her mother was barely coping. she still remembered her in every spot of the house. she told us of how much Rosi - my late friend - loved her little sister. she was always happy to play with her. the little baby was the first one she looked for once she got home.
we went to her grave with the parents after.

I couldn't stop thinking of her all the way back home.

I wouldn't know how to cope if I lose someone who's close and I love.
I always wish that I would die first. so I wouldn't have to suffer from losing anyone. or at least that nobody will die before I'm ready to face the loss. I don't know.

lesson of the post: maybe if you die in old age, or of a long illness, or after you spent long time separately, it would be easier for the people around you to let go and cope. and if you die of such sudden shocking death cause, it would be really hard for people to let go and they might never cope.

oh this is such a long post.

P.S. I hadn't been running anymore for quiet a while. should really start doing it again *sigh