dr. Wanna Be

Hello Blog! A Quick Update of My Daily Life

2011-01-20T18:51:00.008+07:00

hellooooo woooorrllld!!!!

looks like I've spent too long out there in my own world

many things have successfully kept me out of the blogging world

1st cause: my modem and internet connection have enjoyed troubling me for too long time

2nd cause: I've been busy making my self busy

3rd cause: I just honestly don't know what to write about

well, here's a quick - but not very quick though - update of what I've been doing:

I've passed the first semester of med school. not very well done but, yeah it was okay.

so far, my grades haven't been so impressive - since I'm a true procrastinator, I often started working on homeworks just a few hours before the deadline - but at least they're still safe.

they won't kick me out due to my grades. amin.

about my research project, I did make a research proposal - for the research module assignment - about MSG. only it's not about whether MSG might affect children immunity or intelligence. from some consults with the doctor who was facilitating my group discussion - who is originally working in the Department of Dermatology - I found those two thing have too many confounding factors. therefore I changed the research topic to: The Effect of MSG Consumption to Obesity in Children Aged 8-12.

I found out that I made some mistakes on my proposal in the morning of the deadline day but I was too lazy to make any revision so I just dropped it.

the result score of my research module hasn't come out yet, but I hope it won't make my IP (indeks prestasi /performance index) go on free fall.

aaand, I'm on end of semester holiday nooow!!! hasn't really felt like a true holiday though. I still have to go to the campus about twice to three times a week for re-registration for my next semester administration, meeting my academic advisor, and some student organizational stuff.

I also have been trying to work on my 'real research project' with some friends. we formed a group of 6, and we got a research advisor from Department of Nutrition. our topic is about calorie intake and nutritional status on people of different age range. but the progress haven't been so satisfying though.

anyway, I'm applying for these student organizations:

ISMKI (Ikatan Senat Mahasiswa Kedokteran Indonesia)

CIMSA (Center for Indonesian Medical Students Activities)

SM IKM FKUI (Senat Mahasiswa Ikatan Keluarga Mahasiswa Fakultas Kedokteran Universitas Indonesia)

TBM (Tim Bantuan Medis)

MA (Media Aesculapius)

okay, I know these are too much. I've been turned down by the ISMKI and I have no interest on sticking on CIMSA. so maybe I'll drop those two. three left but I'm focusing for Senat Mahasiswa and TBM only.

well, FYI TBM is unfortunately one of the hardest-to-get-in organization in FKUI. they require physical strength and strong medical first responder ability. so wish me lots of luck!

for the SM, at first we got to be interviewed by some SM's staffs of HRD. I was actually aiming for the Department of Community Service, but somehow, I've been mistakenly lead to be a part of the Department of Strategic Review by the interviewer. it's kind of filled with people who care so much about happening political and social issues - no offense, okay.

my other choice is Department of Education and Profession, but I think the work plan and

the people in it are quite boring - this is just my personal view, so no offense, seriously.

well, however, I still haven't been declared as part of any department of the SM board yet. but I think I prefer getting into the Dept of Strategic Review.

MA is the kind of student organization whose business in journalistic. anyway it is the oldest student organization existed in FKUI - if I didn't mishear. I'm just not so into it but I think it would be fun to be part of it.

soooo that's it for now. see you on the next update~

A FINER Research

2010-09-21T19:20:00.002+07:00

helloooooo thereeee

I'm just so used to being busy 'til when I'm not even busy anymore I don't feel like I have some time to post on this blog.

so, I again have no idea of what to say.

about the title, all FKUI students are not allowed to graduate and be a doctor before they do a research. this has been announced since the first time we took our step in the FKUI. therefore our first medical module is also Research-1. and we were assigned for a pre-module assignment, to write a brief essay about the research we're gonna do. this is just a pre-module ass so it doesn't have to be the real research we're gonna do for the graduation, it is meant to train us to be able to think about possible topics for the research. anyway we can do the research and go for the pleno anytime we're ready for it, as it is before the 8th semester.

aaand FINER is the requirements for our research which stands for: Feasible, Interesting (which should be useful for many people too , New, Ethical, and Related (to medicine).

so here is the brief (but not really brief) essay about my research. I wrote it in Bahasa.

Pengaruh MSG Terhadap Imunitas dan Kecerdasan Anak

Oleh Nusaibah Nadia Juliafina, 1006684900

Feasible

Riset mengenai pengaruh konsumsi MSG (Mono Sodium Glutamat/vetsin) pada anak-anak ini saya tujukan pada anak Sekolah Dasar usia sekitar 9-12 tahun. Riset ini mungkin untuk dilakukan dan cukup sederhana karena riset ini cenderung termasuk riset lapangan yang akan saya lakukan dengan cara langsung mewawancarai ibu-ibu atau orang tua yang memiliki anak berusia 9-12 tahun mengenai kebiasaan konsumsi makanan anak-anaknya kemudian membagi anak-anak ke dalam dua kelompok, yakni kelompok anak yang rutin mengonsumsi makanan mengandung MSG dalam jumlah besar dan kelompok anak yang jarang dan hanya sedikit mengonsumsi makanan mengandung MSG. Penelitian pengaruh MSG terhadap tingkat kecerdasan anak, dapat dilakukan dengan memberi tes intelegensi dasar kemudian membandingkan hasil dari kedua kelompok tersebut. Penelitian pengaruh MSG terhadap imunitas anak dapat dilakukan dengan memantau kondisi kesehatan anak dan kehadirannya di sekolah seperti berapa kali dalam sebulan ia terserang penyakit atau izin tidak masuk karena sakit.

Interesting

Penelitian ini akan sangat bermanfaat untuk mengetahui serta membuktikan pengaruh yang ditimbulkan oleh konsumsi MSG secara ilmiah. Apabila terbukti bahwa konsumsi MSG secara rutin atau berlebih berpengaruh buruk terhadap kesehatan serta kecerdasan anak, maka hasil penelitian ini dapat dijadikan dasar untuk melakukan kampanye anti MSG seperti memberi penyuluhan pada anak-anak SD yang cenderung sering mengonsumsi makanan ringan berkadar MSG tinggi dan ibu-ibu rumah tangga yang juga cenderung sering menggunakan MSG sebagai bumbu penyedap masakan. Serta dapat dilakukan penelitian lebih lanjut mengenai batas aman konsumsi MSG agar kemudian dapat dilakukan penetapan batas aman penggunaan MSG dalam makanan ringan yang hingga kini belum dilakukan oleh BPOM dan Undang-Undang Perlindungan Konsumen.

New

Sejauh ini, belum ada penelitian secara khusus yang membuktikan pengaruh buruk MSG terhadap kesehatan manusia. Pada tahun 1975, Institut Pertanian Bogor pernah meneliti pengaruh MSG pada ayam, hasil penelitian tersebut adalah ayam yang mengonsumsi MSG mati. Bagian Farmakologi FK UGM bekerja sama dengan University of Western Sydney pernah meneliti pengaruh konsumsi MSG terhadap tingkat kesehatan dasar manusia seperti denyut nadi, tekanan darah, dan pernapasan dan ternyata tidak ditemukan pengaruh yang signifikan dari konsumsi MSG terhadap tingkat kesehatan dasar tersebut. Namun, Public Interest Research and Advocacy Center (PIRAC) pada bulan Juni 2003 lalu meneliti mengenai kandungan MSG dalam makanan ringan dan ternyata banyak produsen makanan ringan yang tidak mencantumkan kandungan MSG padahal banyak diantaranya yang memiliki kandungan MSG diatas batas aman menurut PIRAC, yakni 1%.

Ethical

Salah satu alasan belum adanya penelitian khusus mengenai pengaruh MSG terhadap kesehatan manusia adalah masalah kaidah etis penelitian dengan manusia sebagai objek penelitian. Namun, penelitian yang akan saya lakukan adalah berdasarkan kebiasaan konsumsi makanan anak-anak, bukan dengan membuat seseorang mengonsumsi MSG dengan kadar tertentu, jadi penelitian ini tidah melanggar kaidah etis sebuah penelitian.

Penelitian mengenai “Pengaruh MSG Terhadap Imunitas dan Kecerdasan Anak”ini sangatlah terkait dengan dunia kedokteran karena fokus penelitian memang adalah pengaruh MSG terhadap kesehatan khususnya imunitas tubuh manusia serta terhadap tingkat kecerdasan (inteligensi) yang dalam penelitian ini objeknya adalah anak usia 9-12 tahun.

Hello Blog! -7Stars Doctor-

2010-08-22T17:43:00.000+07:00

oh it's been almost a month full since last time I posted something in this blog.

it's been a really really busy month.

the life threatening faculty's student orientation just finished yesterday.

but it's not over yeeeeet there's still a 3 month long guidance period waiting ahead *sigh

i have no idea of what to say, so I'm just sharing one of my millions of essays for the student orientation assignment.

see you on next post~

7 Stars Doctor Required by WHO & FMUI

The World Health Organization has proposed an ideal profile of a doctor in the concept of “five stars doctor”.

Care provider. Besides giving individual treatment doctor must take into account the total (physical, mental and social) needs of the patient.

Decision maker. Doctor will have to take decisions that can be justified in terms of efficacy and cost. From all the possible ways of treating a given health condition, the one that seems most appropriate in the given situation must be chosen.

Communicator. Doctor promotes healthy lifestyles by effectively communicating with individuals and groups and empowering them for their own health protection and well-being.

Community leader. By understanding the determinants of health inherent in the physical and social environment and by appreciating the breadth of each problem or health risk doctor will take a positive interest in community health activities which will benefit large numbers of people.

Manager. Five-Star Doctor works and functions efficiently and effectively in teams, it is essential for a doctor to acquire managerial skills that enable them to initiate exchanges of information in order to make better decisions, and work within a multidisciplinary team in close association with other partners.

For Faculty of Medicine of University of Indonesia, the “five stars doctor” is not enough. Thus FMUI developed a concept of “seven stars doctor” which consist of two more essential skills.

Researcher. Every seconds we are mostly unaware of the world development in every fields. For example, overtime new viruses and diseases emerging one after another. Can you imagine if there is no such thing as a research?

Faith and piety. Believe in the creator of all that is created, therefore a doctor will not pass the border and remember that becoming a doctor do not make us Gods, and sometimes we can hope or even believe in extraordinary measures.

e-books for Medical Students Part III

2010-07-25T01:01:00.004+07:00

Netter Interactive Atlas of Human Anatomy ver 3

Gray's Anatomy 39th ed on thepiratebay.org (requires Torrent application)

these ones on 4shared.com:

Gray's Anatomy 39th ed part 1

Gray's Anatomy 39th ed part 2

Gray's Anatomy 39th ed part 3

Gray's Anatomy 39th ed part 4

a cousin of mine said that Netter is way better than Sobotta, and Gray's is way better than any of them. he's a genius last year medical student, so I just have no reason to not believe him.
but Gray's is hard to just be found on book in conventional book store. anyway I haven't got one. any idea where I can find it on book?

P. S. I think I'm such a good person, sharing all this :DD

e-books for Medical Students Part II

2010-07-22T11:15:00.003+07:00

just click on the link and you'll be directed to the page to download

Schwartz's Principles of Surgery 9th ed

Robbins Basic Pathology 8th ed part 1

Robbins Basic Pathology 8th ed part 2

Robbins Basic Pathology 8th ed part 3

enjoy~

e-books for Medical Students

2010-07-19T21:57:00.002+07:00

just click on the link and you'll be directed to the page to download the ebooks

all downloads are free

Guyton’s Textbook of Medical Physiology 11^th ed

Ganong Physiology 23^rd ed

Harper's Illustrated Biochemistry 26^th ed

BMA Illustrated Medical Dictionary

Harrison’s Manual of Medicine 16^th ed

for promblems in downloading, read this

I Want Somebody

2010-07-19T11:14:00.005+07:00

I want somebody,

I could use as family,

I could use as friend,

I could use as a lover,

I could use as a pillow.

I want somebody,

who cares of me,

when the rest of the world only think of their own.

I want somebody,

who trusts me,

when I can't even believe in my self.

I want somebody,

who tells me what to do,

when I have no idea about life.

I want somebody,

who fix me,

after I broke my self to pieces.

I want somebody,

who forgives,

after I made a terrible uncureable mistake.

I want somebody,

who listens,

when I don't even know what I'm saying.

I want somebody,

who supports,

even when I gave up already.

I want somebody,

who holds me tight,

when I can't stop my self.

I want somebody,

who brings me back,

after I went too far beyond.

I want somebody,

who builds life with me,

when all that I do is tearing it down.

I want somebody,

who gives up,

when he knows he can do nothing but more harm.

I want somebody,

who reminds me,

of how much we used to love each other,

when all we think about is how much we don't love each other anymore.

I want somebody,

who stays calm and tells me 'everything's gonna be okay',

when our world is breaking to pieces,

and we both know nothing's gonna ever be okay again.

I want somebody,

who understands,

that I'm just like everybody else,

that I'm not so special,

that I wasn't born to complete him,

that I was destined to be whatever I am now and then,

that I was born to be me,

that to love me and be with me, is the life he keeps on choosing.

I want somebody,

who wants me.

and for somebody who would try to do all that for me, I would exactly try like hell to do the same in return.

In Memoriam: dr. Grey, Ellis

2010-07-18T19:01:00.004+07:00

Ellis Grey in the eye of people of Seattle Grace Hospital (on Grey's Anatomy)

Christina Yang about Ellis Grey's diaries : "it's like the Harry Potter books I never had!"

Meredith Grey about Judy Doll: "I've always wanted one."

Anatomy Jane was the first and only doll Ellis Grey ever gave.

Meredith Grey arguing with her mother when she's suddenly lucid: "you asked what happened to me that I'm so ordinary? You. You happened to me."

Richard Webber giving advices to Derek Shepherd about his affair with Meredith: "I kind of have an experience of having an affair with a Grey."

Jackson Avery's Grandfather got something wrong and being taken to SGH: "page somebody who knows medicine! dr. uh Grey does she still work here? page dr. Grey!"

Meredith Grey who's standing in front of him: "I'm dr. Grey."

Avery: "are you kidding me?"

Meredith: "I'm her daughter. she . . . passed away."

Avery: "oh. page somebody else! Webber. page Richard Webber!"

Meredith, Christina, Izzie, and George used to watch Ellis Grey on action from the O.R. tapes as Saturday night movie.

P.S. if you remember more of Ellis Grey, just post it on the comment. thanks ^.^

2020

2010-07-15T20:55:00.002+07:00

let's talk about future.

well I was born in late 20th century. I was lucky to experience the beginning of a new century - which I consider not giving much difference.

I really think that everything has barely changed. from back then in year 1991 - when I was born - until today July 2010 - when I'm turning 19.

it's been 19 years but nothing has really changed.

cars are still car.

boats still sail.

people still walk on ground.

we still can't breath underwater naturally.

no flying bikes.

we still need to learn to know things.

no robots can actually portrays human.

somebody still have to die so we can do a heart transplant.

people don't live immortally.

no vampires have actually been found.

people still need food and air and water.

we still live on earth!

no android population taken over the earth.

nobody ever step on Mars.

no aliens have taken over earth.

the earth still rotate and revolve.

the sun still shining.

mankind still grow old.

babies still cries.

we still call shoes shoes.

no hologram based communication.

no living T-Rex have been found.

horses still can't make babies with dogs.

- okay let's stop there.

well the point is, everything is still pretty much the same.

and I'm not sure we would have such advanced technologies and lives even in 2020.

I think we'll still walk on ground in 2020. maybe the communication technology would show great advance, but I'm not sure we'll be able to communicate in 3D hologram in 2020.

there will be no vast changes in life.

well, if there's no massive disaster that will destroy the existence of mankind of course.

or if the aliens haven't found their way to earth and take over it.

or if we're not genius enough to make such brilliant android that can take over mankind's lives.

but there's one sure difference. one absolute progressive change.

the earth is breaking to pieces. dying.

well we caused it. continually and progressively causing it.

lesson of the post: go save earth! forget advancing the technology for a sec, you won't be able to see more advanced tech when the earth is already dead!

Death and Cries

2010-07-15T13:49:00.005+07:00

I used to think that if many people cry when somebody died, it means that dead body was loved by many people, or those people loved that dead one. something like that.

then I began to think what if it was me who died. will people cry? will anybody cry?

I usually thought of it when I was sad and depressed, just got rebuked or scolded. especially when my mother just got really mad at me. I would lock my self in my room and began to think what if I die, will my mom cry? or even care?

well that was a long long centuries ago. I know my mother loves me. and she would absolutely cry if I die.

there are some relatives who are actually close in blood relation, but are not close at all to me. I don't think I would cry if they die, or even care. well I would have to care, but I wouldn't really care so much to mourn for their death. life would go on like it has always been to me.

maybe that sounds cold but, you should look in the mirror. you must have some conditions like that.

I don't remember I ever mourned for the death of somebody I loved.

the closest person I have who died after I was born was my grand mother from my father's side. but I barely even remember of any memories I had with her. I was never actually close to her, she was really old. she'd been really old since I can remember.

well I remember there's a time when we were spending holidays at my grandma's, she asked me to sleep with her that night. but I was a mere kid who felt awkward to even just sit beside a really old grandma. and she was so old and I was sure her bones were fragile and I was such a mess when sleeping. so I with all due respect said no. I really didn't want to hurt her, in any way. not by sleeping with her with the possibility of breaking her fragile bones, not by saying no and made her feelings hurt. I thought I made the right decision.

my parents also persuaded me to go sleep in my grandma's room. but the awkwardness won, I knew I wouldn't be able to stand the awkward feeling of being in a room with my really old grandma, trying to sleep side by side without kicking her on my sleep. I said no. so it's no.

I don't know how I'm suppose to feel now, because until the day she died, I still had never slept in her room, with her.

that going to sleep incident was probably the only thing I could consider as memories with my grandma.

she was quiet to me. and barely speak in bahasa. the things I remember she used to say to me were: "ora mangan?" (have you ate?) and "ora turu?" (why don't you go to bed already?) and "wis adus?" (have you took a bath?)

those words were probably the only javanese words I knew.

my grandmother died last year, at the age of 82.

I don't know how my father felt about her death, but he wasn't crying. or at least I didn't see him crying. some siblings of my father did cry a bit when they took her body to the cemetery. my father's eyes were red, but he wasn't crying - I knew cuz I'd been watching people's face all the time that moment.

well maybe it was because she died old. at old age, by natural diseases the elderly used to have.

all her kids have grown old too, they've had kids too. they've lived separately from her for a long time.

and my father's family are chinese. they don't actually mourn of someone's death. they held something my father called 'death party' when a family died. they set a place at home or at a funeral home for the coffin with the dead body, and set a corner for memorial prayers, and people will come to send their sympathy and the family will have to set place for the guests to sit and talk and also serve them with food and drinks. the length of this 'death party' may vary, based on the wealthyness of the family. the longer it be held, the wealthier the family are - or the more they mourn of the dead one, this was how it suppose to mean. my grandma's was 4 days.

and there's another thing, if a chinese person died above 80 years old, the family shall dress in red on the funeral instead of white, as it used to be when a younger chinese died.

I wasn't wearing red, I didn't bring any red clothes and didn't have any. but it was okay, we weren't so much sticking to the tradition and none of us were really wearing all red after all.

there were two other people I know who died when I'm on teen age. one was my grandmother's - from my mother's side - older sister. she died of old age sickness. she died old too. but she was really sick. she'd been sick for some time until the doctors decided to ask her family to whether pull the plug or keep her. she wasn't going to get better, and she'd must been suffering from a lot of pain. so the family decided to pull the plug. her children have grown up and have had kids too, but they were crying. they coped soon after, but it was hard for them to decide to let go of their mother.

the other one was my old friend. we went to the same kindergarten and elementary school and also to junior high. but I was never close to her. I just knew her, we were in the same class three times, but I'd never really knew her.

when I heard that she died, I didn't really feel much feeling.

she died of a very terrible accident. she was riding her motorbike when a giant truck suddenly crushed into her.

that moment what I was thinking about were rationalities and possibilities. I thought of her body, she must have been crushed so badly, maybe her family could barely recognize her. she was a small kid. she had always been small and tiny, I would've never let her ride a motorbike on her own if I were her parents. her house was away from her school, her parents should've set a time to take her to school.

those were all I was thinking about. I didn't even come to her funeral, I was at school when they buried her.

however I did go to her place some couple days after, with an old junior high friend who also couldn't make it to the funeral.

we met her parents. I could see it must have been really hard for them. my mother thought she was an only child, she sent her deepest sympathies for the parents. but when I came, there was a little girl. still in toddler age, she was her little sister. so the parents did not lose all that they had after all. I thanked God for that.

but I could see that her mother was barely coping. she still remembered her in every spot of the house. she told us of how much Rosi - my late friend - loved her little sister. she was always happy to play with her. the little baby was the first one she looked for once she got home.

we went to her grave with the parents after.

I couldn't stop thinking of her all the way back home.

I wouldn't know how to cope if I lose someone who's close and I love.

I always wish that I would die first. so I wouldn't have to suffer from losing anyone. or at least that nobody will die before I'm ready to face the loss. I don't know.

lesson of the post: maybe if you die in old age, or of a long illness, or after you spent long time separately, it would be easier for the people around you to let go and cope. and if you die of such sudden shocking death cause, it would be really hard for people to let go and they might never cope.

oh this is such a long post.

P.S. I hadn't been running anymore for quiet a while. should really start doing it again *sigh

Teary Tears

2010-06-28T22:46:00.004+07:00

I cried this noon.

I cried.

not badly. not like a baby. just like a cry.

and it was for nothing. I didn't even know why I'm crying.

it's been a while since last time I cried. well, not really.

actually I cried a lot these days since I've been watching Grey's Anatomy.

but it was a different kind of cry. it's just been a while since last time I cried for my self.

and I just did. I cry for my self again. for no good reason.

but now that I'm thinking, I think it was good.

I think it is good to let yourself cry for yourself.

I think cries are one of not many things that can keep us away from insanity.

a proper amount and time of cry, of course.

but I really do think it is.

you know why kids and babies are happy?

not just because they're young and know nothing about this wild world.

it's because they cry a lot.

they're kids. they can cry and laugh and pee on their pants whenever they want.

they don't need to hold their emotion.

and then they grow up. they become grown ups.

and grown ups are suppose to be able to manage their emotion. to not cry even when they need to. to not pee on their pants - because that would be unbearably embarrassing. to hold everything together.

and when kids are not allowed to have those - the permission to cry and laugh a lot and pee on their pants sometimes. they're pushed to be grown up. and they become unhappy kids.

I think actually we are all just big sized old unhappy kids.

but we can be happy ones. by letting ourself to cry. to give pity to ourselves.

or maybe it's just letting go.

maybe all we need is just letting go all the emotions we've been holding all this time.

it's better to let them go in the form of tears than as if in anger or craziness, ain't it?

because we all have limits. there will be some points when we can not hold anything together anymore. when that moment come, we'll blow up. we'll screw up. we might never gonna be able to go back. we might gonna go completely insane.

anyway it does feel good.

it feels good to have tears coming out of your eyes. coming down your face. tears that let go your holded feelings.

and it's also good to speak it out, even just to yourself.

I know we're sometimes too embarrassed to tell even our best best friend about some feelings. feelings we likely to keep stay inside. so it is good to tell it to someone who will absolutely listen and understand, yourself.

yeah maybe that's crazy. but who's not?

lesson of the post: take your time. don't hold too much. you know your limits. and let yourself to just CRY.

Apathetic Acts lead to 3 In One Shot

2010-06-22T19:07:00.007+07:00

yesterday, I was so out of mind.

well I and my OKK group - a group for student orientation on UI - were going to salemba with the intention of discussing our assignment project.

there were 3 of us suggesting 3 different ideas. one was a very silly rare material - for me - about teaching street kids to dance - what's the point?

the other one was half done likely, about making free playgroups/kindergarten for the pauper kids. but it seems like gonna need lots and lots of volunteers which would be hard to find.

so the other idea, which considered most proper, was mine. about building a free health check ups clinic. and yeah it was the only clear one. at least I know what this project gonna do. since it was my idea, I automatically became the one responsible for anything - everything. we were assigned to make a 3 to 5 pages essay and a 5 to 10 pages proposal about the project we're making.

the discussion turned out to be huge nothing.

then it turns out to be my job, to write all those stuff.

well actually it wasn't. I did volunteer on doing it. just because I can't imagine what would happen if I let them do it.

I can tell they do not get any single thing I explained about the project.

they are really really greatly sooo apathetic - okay one was not.

I honestly used to be an apathetic person. but I never knew that being apathetic requires being really sucking crap!

I don't think I was that much of such crap - did I?

well then, feeling exhausted, something good crossed my mind.

I remembered my father told me about cheap good shoes sold in Senen.

I followed what my heart told me. go there, have some look, you need new shoes, if there's something good, you have the money, if there's none, nothing to lose.

unexpectedly, there are lots of good stuffs there. all you need is a good taste in style and good eyes in telling whether something well made or not.

I guess I'm good enough.

and I was exhausted so I'm a little bit out of mind.

I bought 3 pairs of shoes.

three!

I just can't help it.

here they are

so, what do you think? they're cute aren't they?

and believe me, they are cheap. so cheap they made me out of mind.

I don't need high heeled shoes but I bought them anyway.

despite the fact that they are unbranded, I love them.

the place won't make you feel so comforted though, it was not even air conditioned.

but if you love cheap good stuff, you should come and see yourself.

Running, away from nothing, in to nothing

2010-06-16T23:21:00.005+07:00

I just discovered another unimportant thing.

I love running. running away from nothing. running into nothing.

literally running. you know, moving your body, doing some exercise.

I've been doing it for weeks now, not too often, only about once or twice a week. but I'm hoping I'll be able to do it more often.

I set my mp3 player on its top sound volume, do some stretching and warming up, then start running.

it feels really nice to have the fresh cold early morning air blew all over your face when you run. the roads still empty you can barely hear one single horn blow, you will be able to see things you've never noticed before - because of the distractions caused by the crowding vehicles ad its horns.

everything looks beautiful and mysterious, still clouded by the morning mist, everything smells just like morning.

I go when the sky's still dark, then along the way, it start getting some shine on. some sunlight sparkles scrubs in. I would love to watch the sky while running, if only somebody would replace the position and function of my eyes to look forward.

I hate being busy. business makes me wake up late. waking up late means no running.

there's another thing that makes me feel so lazy to even just go out of my room. an uninvited guest.

unfortunately we've been having lots of visits from uninvited guests lately. sigh

well but I really really love running, so I'm still trying to have as much run as I can.

it's good for my health and, you know, SIZE.

lesson of the post: do exercise. it releases stress. just find one sport that you love doing and voila! you'll find yourself getting addicted to doing it. oh and don't forget to do some warming ups and stretching before and cooling down after - the last time I didn't, my legs hurts for successive three days.

To Every Newborns

2010-06-09T17:55:00.003+07:00

Welcome to the world!
It’s gonna be cruel to you – but it’s cruel to everyone, so don’t pity yourself too much.
But you’re gonna be tough and you’re gonna survive and you’re gonna succeed.
Hope you a blessful happy life.

N.B: I somehow was inspired to write this while watching Grey's Anatomy, when Bailey's laboring her first child while her husband was having a brain surgery

You Can Not Divorce Family

2010-06-09T17:29:00.002+07:00

Read the title again.

It’s an undeniable fact.

You cannot break up with your family, no matter what.

No matter how badly you want to be someone else’s family. No matter how seriously you are when you said you were born in the wrong house.

Yours is yours.

Because families are destined to be family til the the end of the story.

Because families are connected by blood, by gen, by DNA.

So no matter how far you get away from them, no matter how much you or they have changed, no matter how many of your memories with your family you’ve erased.You can never ever ever ever ever change your DNA. Nature talks here.

This gonna be a very sucking undeniable fact if you are in my condition – or even worse than mine.

You know, for some people family doesn’t always mean good. Or it’s just not all members of the family mean good to them. Maybe they just want some of theirs to disappear. But it wouldn’t be that easy unless God said so.

What I’m saying is that although you hated or just do not want your family, they are your family. And someday when something happened someway somehow they’re gonna need you – or you’re gonna need them.

Okay, I’m gonna do a little sharing here.

I have one bloody hell of a crappy brother now. Well, he wasn’t. And I hope he’s not gonna stay that way for a longer time. I always pray for him. I always wish someday he’s gonna make his way to the right path – not that I’m sure I’m in the right one. Someday he’s gonna make it up at least for himself. Amin.

I’ll give you a light introduction of him.

I have always been jealous to him. It’s something normal, you know, you get jealous to your siblings all the time. But it was something else. It’s something like, ‘why do I have to do this and that, and why does he always being allowed to leave everything and dump it on me?’

Okay, maybe that’s still common. But hey, he’s the first child. He’s the older one. He’s the male one. Why do I have to take all of his responsibilities? Why do I have to take over his position in the family? Because he’s not available is the answer.

We almost never know where in the hell he is. And these days he’s been taking the house like a laundry place. Literally. He come home with all the dirty clothes, leave them, go somewhere away, then get back to pack them on and get the hell away again. At this point I’m the one who’s most tortured. Because I take care of the laundry of the house. Whenever he came home, means extra job.

Well that’s not really the point. But he really is never available is one point.

Then there is this thing that makes me really jealous. Why is it always him that my parents bother about? Why do they always want to give their best to him? Why is it always him they care about? Because he’s away. He’s not close. They cannot see him. And what my mom always tell me is that because they know he might not gonna make it on his own. I can understand that. But that doesn’t make it fair.

I’m the one who always listen to all their grumblings. I’m the one who always be close. I’m the one who is being their child. I’m the one who take my rights and responsibilities as a child – okay, maybe not all of the second one. But he didn’t do anything. Almost none of his responsibilities. But he’s still getting most of his rights and needs. And I even have to pay respects on him as an older brother. I do have an older brother but I seriously am lacking of the feeling of having one. Maybe when we were much younger we really did deal with everything as brother and sister. But now, these years, huge not. Well, on some strange odd moments, he did become one out of nowhere sometimes – really sometimes.

So see, I’m not the kind of person with no family problems. I have huge one – or two, there’s another thing with my parents which I’m not telling you. But it is not that I am not sincere about being a child of this house or about all the things I did and I got. Nope.

I’m just trying to keep myself healthy. Away from insanity at least. Which is why I’m writing this.

Don’t get me wrong, okay. Don’t take it too seriously. I just messed up my own mind sometimes.

So, um, back to the point. You really can never divorce your family, because God said so. And your current family – however bad you consider them – is the best family for you, because God has chosen them for you, God has decided it to be so. I believe God knows what’s best for you and He always give you the best.

Lesson of the post: because you will never be able to divorce your family, it will be better if you learn to accept them just as they are. Even better if you learn to love them the way they are. They will be sucks sometimes, but they’re human too. we are sucks, sometimes.

A Padded Bag

2010-06-04T13:40:00.004+07:00

okay, I'm so not in the mood for writing anything, I just wanted to let you know that the present package from Richard has came several days ago - I forgot exactly what day.

and actually it's been really some time since he said he was going to send the winners that present.

oh well then at least he hadn't got an amnesia - I was worrying about this possibility :D.

uh well, here are some pictures of the presents and the package

the front side of the package

the back side

what's inside: a bag, a boomerang, and a postcard with the picture of Adelaide from above

what's written on the postcard

okay, now I know it does cost much to get it delivered

I know I seem more interested in the package than what's inside it. I do :D

I mean, it's a padded bag somehow it looks cool to me - okay, weird. but it is, I've never got any package in a padded bag, the coolest package I ever got was a jerrycan full of borneo honey from an uncle who lives there and it was wrapped with thick cork and protected with wooden boards set up like a cage. okay that was cool too. but the padded bag was different, you know, it's just seem so modern - rather primitive like the wooden caged honey. okay, I am weird. I take it sincerely.

and someway somehow I believe I have ever seen the bag being displayed at some nearby malls. or is it just i saw somebody wearing it in the mall? oh, forget it. it's clearly not a thing to concern about.

that's the news, so-incredibly-un-important-news, I know, sorry anyway :D

A Beloved Brother and A Godly Download Speed

2010-05-20T09:04:00.006+07:00

okay this is another free advertising post.

maybe most of you have already known these, but I just wanted to share the good infos :))

I am gonna tell you about this beloved brother of everyone!

I wished my real brothers are just like him.

well, it's a website actually. but he really really is lovable.

he'll give you any software to be downloaded FOR FREE. any kind of softwares, applications, programmes, games, anything.

I always see him whenever I need any softwares.

get started to love him by clicking here

the other free advertisement goes tooooo

thepiratebay!!!

they do support legal piracy!!! LOL

it was more like 4shared but it support files with a lot bigger memories. some hundred mega bytes to even Giga bytes.

you can find many kinds of stuff here actually. like music records, movies, etc.

but I visited it mostly for the movieeeeesss.

you can find sooooooooo many movies you've been searching all this time just laying bored there waiting for someone to find and download them.

start download your-always-wanted-but-haven't-found-movies hereee

but then, damn the snaily speed of my provider, the damned IM2.

I'm downloading like 14 movies now. and most of them haven't even get 2% completed.

I wonder if there is anyplace in this country where you can download things with a godly download speed.

no doubt it's not in my room.

well anyway, thepiratebay supported downloading through torrent applications.

if you haven't got one, just visit the brother for softwares type 'torrent' as the keyword and he will give you many choices for free downloadable torrent apps.

the torrent apps is very easy to use for sure, it doesn't have the word 'download failed' in its dictionary. it will pause the download automatically if the internet connection broke. it even will continue downloading whenever your PC get connected to the net.

oh yeah, please notice that you might gonna find some adult ads on thepiratebay page. just ignore them.

and this is just a tip from me, when you're already on thepiratebay page and have found what you're searching for, just click on the magnet pic (download this torrent using magnet link) then your download will begin in just seconds.

I hope you enjoy them!

wait, almost forgot.

thanks to Dea for informing me about thepiratebay and Torrent downloader.

thanks to everyone on thepiratebay thanks to anyone who invented brothersoft.

enjoy it! :)

Women to Men = Food

2010-05-17T17:28:00.005+07:00

sounds unfair, but it's true.
and anyway, this is as always, just my opinion. no offense okay

women to men = food
literally or not.
for some men, it means so literally. they choose women who can make them fine food.

for not literally meaning.
there are some requirements for good food.
first, people look at the display/appearance/looks. just like when men looking at a woman, the first thing they would notice is the look. if it looks nice, they'll get interested. if it looks cheap, they'll think twice. if it looks too grand, they'll think twice. if it looks just the way they wanted it, they'll surely fight for it.

then the smell. if the food served smells stink, who would even try tasting it?
like when men getting close to a woman, they'll notice it if she smells bad, sweaty, nice, or like she poured a full bottle of perfume?
remember everything too much never do good.

then we'll test the taste of the food. like men try talking with the woman. does she talk good or just nice? or bad? does she dominate the conversation? does she ask about what you like? or she feels just like she's the center of universe? does she even talk?
well, just like taste is very relative to each person. the way the woman talks shows her personality, and every man has their own relatively ideal personality criteria of a woman.

if all of the above have met the requirements, people will move on concerning about the nutrition. good food should be nutritious too.
so what is nutritious about a woman?
nutrition is something human essentially need, right? it helps the cell growth, regenerate, provide your body needs, helps us staying alive and healthy and everything.
so a woman who can provide good nutrition means a woman who can helps the man be a better person, grow, be mature, gives something the man essentially needs, something he can not get and be on his own.

like different person needs different portion of nutrition. such as a coolie needs more carbohydrate, and children needs more protein.
different man needs different kind of woman.

have we met the requirements?

I think that's all for now.
once again, this is totally just my opinion :))

lesson of the post: to all women, be a good food but be sure to let yourself fall for good men only. to all men, puhleeezee wisely choose your food for your better future

DREAMS REALLY ARE COMING TRUE

2010-05-08T16:10:00.008+07:00

this truly is the biggest day!!
the announcement for SIMAK UI result was this morning.

I almost gave it up, kind of hopeless, started to just accept my fate ending up on dentistry of UGM.
cause I've calculated the percentage of my right answers on the test. and it made me sooo hopeless therefore I did the registration on UGM and paid the school fee, even registered for UMB (Ujian Masuk Bersama).

then, on this bright morning, came the SUPER BIG BIG news.
a friend of my mom - also mother of my friend - called. she said I got in to Faculty of Medicine of University of Indonesia. I totally couldn't believe it. it really really is a dream coming true.
we were soooo hysterical - I am still hysterical.
ALHAMDULILLAHIRABBIL ALAMIIIIN.

this really is the best best greatest gift I've ever got. Allah have really shown me his Mighty Power. He truly is The One Who Decides.

I am very very grateful for everything He'd given to me. but this just feels really like a dream comes true. I almost still can't believe it. Oh My Mighty God, Allah, all praise for You.

aaannnnddd I really really THANK YOUUU PEOPLE. thank youuu very very soooo much much for all the prayers and supports. Allah has answered our prayers. Alhamdulillah.

for everyone hasn't got in yet, I beg you to never give up. Allah surely will grant you something worth the fight and waiting. my prayers will always be with you - especially to my best best friends who also still fighting for their dreams, Ijul, Marce, Puput, Nabil, Wachid, Rince, Raji, Ridho, Rino, Astrin, Gin, and all others I can not mention here.

well, the fight hasn't end yet of course. never will til the end of our lives.
there'll always be a bigger challenge waiting.

so, that's the very big happy news!
love yoouuuu guys and gals!!!

lesson of the post : DREAM ON!!! then fight for it, pray for it, but don't forget to never give up and wait patiently for the happy ending. - sounds cliche but every clicheic things almost always appear to be true right?

oh yeah, and here is my most favorite quote, found in twitter
from @PaulaAbdul : "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."
so, don't worry to lose something to get something bigger you just haven't found yet.
keep up the spirit!!!

All Apologize

2010-04-11T21:53:00.003+07:00

well, today is the big day. this morning was the big moment.

I've done all tests of the marathon tests.
I decided not to apply for Unsoed for its 'amazing' requirement - 90-200 million rupiahs for entrance fee.

I failed for Undip, not surprising.
now waiting for UGM and UI to announce the result of their tests.
keep hoping for the best.
I've done all I can, maybe not the very best, but I can't turn back time, can I?
ahhh, wish me for the best result pleaseeee. ^_^

and, thanks everyone for the prayers and good luck greetings!!
you guys made my zest! thank youuuu sooo muuuuch

so, talking about apologies, I would like to apologize to Ondry and Richard Bule for all the bad stuffs that I said on a previous post.
sorry that I back mocked you, sorry that I even thought you made it up.
a couple days ago I just found out that the sickness Ondry's uncle suffering from is cancer.
he was diagnosed for cancer on 4th stadium, just the day before we're going to Dufan.
I am really sorry for having bad thoughts about it.
I don't know how does it feel to have a relative with cancer on 4th stadium, but I'm sure it would be really shocking to hear such bad news.

my both grandfathers suffered from cancer too, anyway. my grandpa from Mom survived from throat cancer. but he got his vocal cords removed.
my grandpa from Dad couldn't survive from prostate cancer, he died before I was born.

back to apologies
so, I am sorry, okay. but still, I think it's not all my fault. the Bule should have told me what was the sickness Ondry's uncle suffering from. I would have tolerated and even symphatized it.
well, I hope he'll get better and all the therapy he's doing gonna work. amin.

next apology is to everyone's blogs I once followed. I just decided to unfollow some people for I think their blog updates are junking my dashboard and I didn't find enough reason to keep following them - no offense, no disrespects, okay, just sorry.

so, that's the news.
and guess what? it hasn't been a month since I said I'm gonna abandon this blog!
I guess I've just licked my own spittle. LOL

Marathon Tests

2010-03-21T21:36:00.003+07:00

okay, it seems like this gonna be my latest post for at least a month forward.

from next Sunday to 3 other following Sundays I'll be on a marathon.
a marathon of tests.
UTUL UGM on 28th of this March!
UM UNDIP on 4th of April
SIMAK UI on 11th of April
UM UNSOED on 18th of April
see? all held on Sunday. so it's literrally one test for every week.

I really hope I'll pass one of them - the best one for me. and I prayed every night and day for Allah giving me the best. Amin ya rabbal `alamiiin.
believing is the power of a prayer. but believing without working won't make a sense, ain't it?
so, I'm gonna make my way to it by study harder! - and abandon this blog for a while.

wish me luck pleaaaaseeeee ^-^

Dear Mr. Obama

2010-03-12T23:34:00.003+07:00

hello Mr. President of USA

I'd like to welcome you to Indonesia - even before you step your feet on the plane that will bring you to my beloved country. hope your flight going nice.

despite the fact that some of many people in Indonesia love you, please be sure that I am not one of them.
and despite the fact that many of us are very excited to have you here, please be sure that I don't really care that you're coming. no mean to be rude, Sir.
to be honest, I am a little bit excited too - which is why I'm writing this - just not that much, not as much as Indonesia's Mr. No 1 at least.
well, to be really honest, I honestly don't understand why you're even coming.
I know you've spent some years of your childhood in the nation.
but that was so many years ago and it was just for a couple of years and you were a mere kid.

do you expect to have some reunion with your old pals?
I saw a woman on tv who claimed to be your best friend, she even showed the teddy bear doll you'd given her many years ago. but I really doubt you're coming to meet her.

so, is it just as what you say on those speeches? you are about to tighten the relationship between USA and Islamic countries?
well, I'll take it as if it is.

anyway, I'm wondering where would our President SBY take you to while you're here?
the National Palace is a must I think. maybe he's gonna take you to his personal Cikeas Palace too.
oh and the SD Menteng 01, where you're gonna find the one and only statue of Little Barry with a Butterfly on his hand. it was once located in Taman Menteng, you know. and they spent really some money just to move it to where it stands now - don't bother the money they spent on the making, I don't even know where it came from.

about your staying here, how long will you stay anyway?
well, you can stay for as long as needed cuz you don't need to worry about the terrorists.
you see, our Densus 88 is doing its job very proffesionally - they looked even more proffessional than those CIA men on Hollywood. count on how many terrorists they've exterminated. including the last one, the one week tv star, Dulmatin - you must have heard of him.
oh, and I think these terrorist issues in Indonesia is quite an interesting material to be adapted to a movie. are there any Hollywood producer interested on filming one?

okay, what profit will we get from welcoming you considerably very friendly?
oh, maybe it is that we are going to be best friend. what a luck!

well, I hope you'll enjoy your visit and I wish it's gonna make us some profit.

oh, if you want to know why I'm writing this never-will-be-sent letter, I kind of inspired while watching the Insert gossip news about Pevita Pearce - a teen Indonesian actress - writing a 3 pages long essay about you applying for being one of the 25 student of her school who will get the once in a lifetime chance to get to meet and greet you.
(you should watch that show - Insert gossip news - once you get here. it is where gossips can b fun)

but, seriously, to be frank, I would really rather write a book to get to be meeting Mr. Johnny Depp than to write 3 pages essay to meet you. no offense, sorry, I am just no fan of you.

sincerely yours,

an Indonesian citizen

Losing Fat and Gaining Height Programme

2010-03-10T00:45:00.006+07:00

hey!
less than 20 days to the UTUL UGM test

just informing - like you need to know, yeah - that I am now doing some physical workout regularly. it's now been for almost a month.
not quite something actually.
just some basic stretching, jogging, jumping and some upper arms workout.
I jogged for like the count of 400. jumped for about 300 times. and some light boxing to lose some jowls of fat on my upper arms.

this workingout has already shown some changes. like I now have slimmer upper arms, less cellulite on my butt and legs, and brawny calves like those owned by 'becak' paddlers . I really have a pair of big calves now. *sigh

why I said 'losing fat' instead of 'losing weight'?
cuz just losing weight is not enough. not even a positive thing. you might only lose the weight of water in your body, which will lead to dehydration and some health problems. then, you'll gain back even more weight than before.
so the right thing to do is to lose fat. don't bother the weight scales.
isn't it better to weighted 150 pounds but sized 0 (zero) than to weighted 80 pounds but sized 3?

well, about the gaining height.
I know I've passed the growing up age. I am now more to growing wide.
but I'm still obsessed to get taller. so I just continue jumping - without rope - and consuming milk.
well, the milk does participate in growing wide process. but I'm trying, okay. it's better than to be not doing anything.

oh and anyway, I'm doing all the exercises in the bathroom. literally in the bathroom.
so, you know, I get sweat then I can just jump under the shower.

so, that's the news.

live with or can't live without?

2010-02-22T08:17:00.005+07:00

lately I often read and hear people asking:

what would you choose, a man who wants to live with you or a man who can't live without you?

most people choose the second one.
that's quite romantic, indeed.
but irrational.

I would really choose the first one.

the second is irrational.
the most obvious cause is, if he can't live without you, when you die, he'll simply suicide

there's this wise woman, named Linna, wife of Mario Teguh - yes that super motivator.
she said, "I chose Pak Mario because I know he want to live with me cuz he can't live without me." - not precisely so, but close.

wise.
but he'll still suicide when you die.

so I still stand for the first one.
not only for the irrational suicidal thing.
it's something more important.

people used to be more appreciative if they get something they want, not something they need.

if a man can't live without you, it means he needs you.
if a man wants to live with you, it means he wants you.

what's the difference?

something you need is like, your everyday meals, the air you breathe, the beating of your heart, your digestive system, and simply your life itself.
how many times you - or have you even ever - thank God for the air you breathe in a day?
did you say thank you to your mother for cooking you food?
did you even realize that your heart is working hard for keeping you flush?

something you want is - do I need to explain this one?
cars, money, branded items, big lovely houses, luxuries, anything
or something you want to be, like me, I want to be a doctor
most people would be extremely grateful to get what they want.
they would thank if somebody give them what they want.
they would take good care of things they want.

- maybe that's why God gives you what you need not what you want, to see are you a grateful type of man or the take it for granted type.

I guess it's clear enough why I choose the first one.
I want to be wanted, to be appreciated, to be cared, to be loved, not to be taken for granted.

this is what I believe. it is okay if you have different believes.

To My Friend(s)

2010-02-18T23:54:00.005+07:00

this post is dedicated to everyone I consider friend and to those consider me friend

anyway I almost cried - and fell asleep yeah - writing this

I might have done you bad things

I might have been really angry at you

I might have spoke to you bad

I might have broken my promises

I might have tainted our friendship

I might have ever said "I don't want to know you any-ever-more"

I might have broken your best shoe

I might have back mocked you

I might have been really evil to you

I might have not forgive you for some

I might have littered you sometimes

I might have been so much careless

I might have not been there when you need me

I might have ever felt kinda victorious to know you failed

I might have ever felt relieved to know you failed the subject I failed in

I might have not been listening when you call me in literally midnight

and all other I might

just, know that

I sure have always thought of you as my friend

and,

even that you didn't gave me the birthday present I hoped for

even that you even forget to wish me a happy birthday

even that you didn't thank for my helpful help

even that you back mocked me a lot

even that you littered me often

even that you abandon me in most time

even that you haven't returned the money you owed me

even that you lost the precious book I lent you

even that you made me looked ridiculous sometimes

even that you broke my cellphone

even that you complained on my outfit often

even that you talked too much

even that you have such big mouth you couldn't keep a secret secret

even that you flirted the boy I liked

even that you took me easy

and all other even that

just, you need to know

no matter what, once we be friend, we'll be friend til death do us part

cause, friends aren't for life

friends are life

Philosophy of a Cat, a Dog, and a Rat

2010-02-15T16:54:00.001+07:00

I remember once watched a movie.
Rattatouile.
that was a very funny animation.

watched it on a DVD.
I always love the special features a DVD gave.
so, I got this from Rattatouile's special features

Philosophy of a Cat
cats think that they are above human. that's why they feel they deserve to be served and pleased and always want us to cuddle them and get angry if one doesn't please them.

Philosophy of a Dog
dogs believe they are below human. that's why they always feel they meant to serve their owner and they are obviously very loyal.

Philosophy of a Rat
rats think and believe and very sure that they are on the equal level with human. that's why they live in our house. they eat our food. they walk around our house in such no shame. there's no doubt they really feel like home.

DUFAN or PARIS ?

2010-02-10T12:12:00.009+07:00

truth is

none of the above

remember about the writing competition held by Richard on his blog I talked about in a previous post?
with going to Dufan as the prize?
the one I won?
yeah, this is a report of what happened.

there is no Dufan.
why?
well, there's a long story behind it

I believe I've seen bad signs.

first, the other two winners - there are 3, including me - could not attend it. one is a sixth grader who lives somewhere in Sumatra. the other is busy with his mini-thesis in Bali.
so, this bule offered me to bring a friend. I agreed.

second bad sign
I asked my only friend who is familiar with Richard Bule and his blog, Bibi.
she was excited. but as we're going on Monday, February 8th, she could not make it for she got classes on the day. I begged her like I'm gonna die if she doesn't come. she still said NO.

then I asked some other high school friend. and got Marini - used to call her Marce.
she was just in the same condition as me. a freelancer. been sick of the courses and math problems.
I need to explain her who Richard was and what I did that I get to be going to Dufan with him and his other friends (Ondry and his girl) and everything, and she was hugely excited. and I became extremely glad and even more excited.

but then. we're like thrown away from a rushing jet plane and crashed like a potato puree.
it's all because of a short shocking message came from Richard.

this suppose to explain how I felt:

short discussion between Me and R through text messages (copy-pasted).
just the day before (7th of February)

(15:00 WIB)
(R called, I didnt pick up)

(15:01)
R : Hey, besok jadi ikut ke Dufan? Kabar2in ya!

(16:26)
Me : Iya bang insyaallah jadi.
Sori td hapenya ditinggal d kamar. Hehe
Yg jd ikut siapa aj bang?
Ketemu d dufan dimananya?

(16:27)
R : Bagus2, ntar malam gue telepon dengan infonya ya

(18:59)
(R called, I picked up, no sounds, I ended the call)

(19:04)
R : Hey, sori banget nih tapi kayaknya besok harus dipostpone dulu. Anggota keluarga Ondry ada yang jatuh sakit, jadi dia ngga bisa ikut. Nanti gue mencari hadiah alternative buat loe ya. Sekali lagi gue minta maaf ya, gue dan Ondry kecewa banget neh. Thanks ya...

(I was shocked, upset, confused, mad, all in one)

(19:06)
Me: Oh
Turut berduka cita jg ya.
Oke gapapa bang

(19:16)
R : Iyaaa sori banget. Nanti gue kasih hadiah lain ya?

(19:19)
Me : Iya iya gapapa bang. Semoga cepet sembuh sodaranya ondry itu. Amin

(I called Marce to tell the news. she asked what had happened? told her about Ondry's relative got sudden sick.)

(23:27)
Me : Bang temen gw nanya,
Siapanya ondry yg sakit? Sakit apa?

(23:33)
R : Pamannya yang sakit

that's it. ends there. he never even mention anything any-ever-more.

I didn't know what to think.
I've been so much distracted from everything I should've been doing for days.
I could not focus on my lessons and all.
and he thrown away our excitement like it was such craps.

I really was upset. we - me and Marce - both really was.
we thought it must be someone with vital role in Ondry's life who got sick, maybe it was his Dad got a heart attack or somekind. but it was only his uncle, and we didnt even know what sickness he got.
well, maybe he's just very close to his uncle - none of us were so close to any of our uncles so maybe we just couldn't understand.

Marce said, "it's like he got no other friend. poor Bule. we shouldn't ever get his words. what about the alternative prize? why didnt he offer another day to Dufan?"

"fuck it," I said. "maybe he got no money anymore. haha."

"poor. or stingy?" Marce asked.

"he's a bartender."

"so he can't be poor. maybe he lost his wallet?"

"funny. can't be. he's in Indonesia for some movie shoots."

"or maybe he planned for it? you know, an uncle's sudden sick? thats so typical. maybe he just dont want to go?"

"huge maybe. ah, he made me lost all my good mood."

we talked and talked so many bad things about him.

I even said this on my facebook status :

Remove
Nusaibah Nadia Juliafina you know, when people say "it's okay" sometimes it means "seriously? do you think it could be okay?"

07 February at 20:21 Friends and networks

and this :

Remove

Nusaibah Nadia Juliafina really wanted to say 'shit!' but hey, I'm playing a good girl. so hold yourself

07 February at 22:38 Friends and networks

maybe it was no big thing. I just overblown it. but I was really upset.

then what about Paris?

we're not going there - that's obvious.

we decided we cant just let this foreign guy destroy our whole day. we cant just stay at home and crawl in bed with more math problems. we definitely need some refreshing.
lack of money, we cant go to Dufan - though really wanted to.

so we just ended up in Lippo Karawaci. some window shopping, some pizza, and a movie.

I was sure the last time I went there the theatre in Lippo used to have 7 studios. but since the owner seemed to be addicted to renovation - or maybe he got an interior designer son - he just renovated the 21 again. the last time was just like, almost 2 years ago. they cutted them into just 4 studios - money saving or they just want more spacious studios?

we watched From Paris With Love, starring John Travolta and John Rhys Meyers and some unknowns.
Rhys Meyers was the only reason I chose to watch the movie - the other movies showing were like worse than cheesy for me.
well, you cant call it good, but its on top five on box office - wonder why. but I think its an insult to call it bad.
like some girl said on a review of this movie, "Rhys Meyers's lips are made to be kissed."
and I think its somehow such a waste, they barely even show the beauty of the city - or they didnt even shoot it there?

well, our day ends just okay.
we walked, we talked, we had some fun, we're tired and we're still upset.

after all I feel sorry.
for being such a backmocker. for being such a hypocrite.
but I was upset. he made me.
so I guess that's even.

SUICIDE?

2010-02-07T20:46:00.004+07:00

well, I do not plan to suicide.
I mean, I still want to get to med school, get married, have kids, get to heaven and so on.
so no. I'm not planning a suicide. but, well, I did.

it was long long before time ago.

when I was a very kid, I used to say death so easily, as easy as a kid saying he/she wanted to play out. I dont know whats wrong with me? - maybe I'll never know.

well, that was just a saying.

but I did plan for a suicide - I mean it. thought about it for days, about how would I end my life, things like that. it was when I was about to get 13. I even arranged to do 'it' on my 13th birthday.
but somehow, as the day came, I totally didnt feel like it anymore. well, nothing special happened, there's not a particular thing that made me dont want to.
just, the thought seemed to went away as days passed by.
I dont really remember what was going on that moment that made me ever thought of it. I think its a family problem.

I used to be a very suicidal minded. I did.
and maybe still - a very bit.

I do believe I am tough enough as a person.
but when it comes to family matters, am as chicky as a baby chick.
I mean, family is the first and the last to accept you.
so when they dont even want you anymore, what in the world are you doing in life?

anyway, I once had a friend - on high school - who really did suicide.
really
she really did that.
but its not the kinda suicide psychologists called 'complete suicide'.
it means, she actually was not really intend all out to end her life. she was actually afraid of death itself. but she just shallow minded maybe that she thought of it.

we were in the same group of friend.
that was a bright morning on a school day that she was absent and called one of us and say the crazy thing that she's going to suicide.

what the heck? why would you call your friends just to tell them you're going to end your life?

it was a family problem (she's kinda broken home) and a boyfriend problem that caused her crazy action.
we absolutely could not concentrate at any lecture along that day.
when the bells rang, we fled out to get a taxi to fly to her place wishing we're not too late to save her.
ridiculously, none of us know where's her place is? we only knew the region, but we didnt even know the name of the estate. desperately, we called a classmate who lived in the same region and begged - really begged - him to come and help us.
he actually has nothing to do with it, he didnt even know where exactly her place was, so he wouldnt really be helpful. but he did came - still in his school pants.
he knew the block where she lived, but had no idea which one is her house.
we walked through the block over and over. I even thought of knocking at every door.
hey, its a matter of life and death!
we asked some people who passed by, but none of them gave us the information that we hardly need - where exactly her house is.
it was a very bad ridiculous and messy day.
the sky got dark, and I had to go home right away unless I dont ever want to go home anymore.

so thats it. we came home empty handed. after all the rupiahs we spent on the taxi, after all the homeworks we left abandoned, after the desperate calls and begs we did, after all the walking over the block over and over, after after after and after.

the next morning, we got a news that she's hospitalized for some stomachache (for a ruin she made on her stomach for drinking some spoons of Baygon - yeah that famous-easy-to-get poison)

well, thought of the day for you:
Death only ends life on earth. and it gives you a huger bigger problems that can never be solved or get done - since you're not alive anymore to solve it or get it done - like you can not even wish for heaven any-ever-more.

I was an Idiot

2010-01-30T00:52:00.004+07:00

got sooo many things in mind - things to write anyway.

well, about this
I was - truly was - an idiot.
I remember some idiotic events happened in the past.

there's one occasion when I was on 4th grade - dont really remember what - that I brought a mini science book about Apes. unfortunately, something really controversial printed on the cover.

Apes - The Ancestors of Human

all kids in my class surrounded me in curiosity. they are eager to know whats that mean? whats in the book?
since I was recognized as the smartest - or most idiot - kid in the class, I felt like its an obligation for me to explain.

the guilty defendant

anyway, I swear, that time, I had never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever read the book.

we took some glances over the pages together.
there came the questions.
Why did it said so? are we really are descendants of apes?

as I say, I was idiot, barely used my brain to think before letting any words came out.
I told them in such pride, "It is because long time ago, God didnt know that He can make such perfect creatures like mankind. thats why you can see these apes evolved over and over again and finally became as what we are."
that moment we were looking at a page showing how apes evolved.

Oh My God.
now that I remembered I did say such thing, I really feel like a rejecter of truth, a sinner, a false, an unbeliever, everything. I hope Allah Most Gracious, Most Merciful will forgive me for every idiot false I did.

well, another idiotic thing about me. when I was just on toddler age I was seriously really really over obsessed with 'jarum pentul' or as what my translator says 'straight pin' - is that really the right english term for the thing? whatever

I really like it I even often suck it in my mouth as if it was somekind of candy.
my mom told me she was scared as hell the pin would get swallowed. she always took it off, but I always succeeded put it back in.

not only that, I also always threaten anyone with the seemingly-sacred-thing. if anyone do something I didnt like, I told them, "I will stab you on your back with a needle!"
or when my dad left for work so he didnt let me get on the motorbike with him. I said, "go on! I will follow you and secretly stab you with a needle!"

okay, thats scary if was said by me on this age.
but as it was a toddler said that, it was contrastly really funny my parents would laugh so bad - my mom told me so.

bunches of needles you can easily find in my parent's place

well thats it for today. I'm gonna post the other things in my mind later on.

anyway, I havent read the ape book up til this second.

I'm Pregnant !! OH NOOOO

2010-01-21T09:44:00.005+07:00

I am pregnant

shocked?

I my self even a loooot more.

wait there. dont get your mind going anywhere

I am just being pregnant on my mom's dream last night.

well, this early morning, just after we did the subuh prayer, my mom told me about the dream.
she said, "Nduk, I dreamed something really weird and scaring last night. you were pregnant and having a baby without marriage."

"Oh, GOD," I laughed.

"really. I even still remember how the baby looked like. his name was Kurniawan," continued my mom.

oh, thats absolutely not my baby then. I would never ever ever ever ever ever name my baby in such name

"I was so angry I want to hit you. I want to hit you so fiercely, I tried, but somehow when my hands reached you I felt like I had no power to."

I continued laughing.

"what upsets me the most is that you seemed so easy about it."

I laughed.

"really, I was so angry I told you 'no more med school, no more going out'."

oh no

"I was wondering, you were like, always at home, you only go out with your girl friends, so when did you do 'that'? how could you?"

now I laughed so madly.

"when I asked you who's the father, you showed me his pictures on facebook"

WAIT. now thats REALLY CRAZY.

"Ummi, you had a really weird dream. thats impossible. I would never let my self be." I said.

the story ends there.

what a dream, huh?

I'm one of the winner, road to simak ui

2010-01-17T23:21:00.006+07:00

well,

writing this in the middle of the night on my desk with my chem books right beside my notebook in my messy room waiting for 18th of January to come so I can register my self to join SIMAK UI.

13 minutes to go.

oh my.

82 days to go to the big day.

anyway, this sacred SIMAK UI is not the only one coming.

UM UGM on 28th of March
UM UNDIP on 4th of April

great.

in the middle of this craziness, tomorrow I'm going to glodok with some highschool friends to hunt for bunches of DVDs - pirated ones of course. then to Denis's place to watch those DVDs with the gang. we call it 'nobar til drop'.
I just promised my self this going to be the last time I'm having fun - before starting 'study til die' days.

but, there came a HUGE temptation.
I checked the bule juga manusia blog. and found that I was announced as one of the winner of the 'Surat Cinta Konyol' competition.

whats wrong with that? I do hope to win, anyway

it was the prize for the winners. going to DUFAN on early February. which really damn close to the BIG day.

well, lets just do it.
its just a day out. wont make so much difference - I hope.

thats the latest news.
anyway, I'm posting it just right after registered my self for SIMAK UI.

- it seems that I am the 94th person that registered

I LOVE 4SHARED!!!!

2010-01-15T20:50:00.002+07:00

I really really really really love 4shared.com

for you who dont know what 4shared.com is,
its a site where people all around the planet earth share files that they have. you know, like on youtube. but even more!
people can share EVERYTHING. any kind of files. musics, videos, pdf files, images, and literally everything.
its like you have a free unlimited access to everybody's my documents. isnt that cool?

you only need to create an account on the site and WUUUSSH
you can search for anything, download everything

I've been using it for a couple months and I have downloaded uncountable files.

well, just sharing the good news.

thanks to 4shared for existing, thanks to everyone on 4shared

^_^

Infotainment Syndrome

2010-01-12T22:21:00.008+07:00

Infotainment syndrome
is a new kind of inclination undergone by almost every Indonesia's news shows nowadays.
for example, if one channel shows news about luxury rooms in prison enjoyed by some elite prisoner, then all other news shows will show the almost-exact-same news. all along the day or even every day until there's another big news.

you know, like the Century Bank case and Antasari's case.
they are broadcasting news about those stuffs all the time.

come on, isnt there any other thing happened in this country?

it is not that I dont care about those case. I do, of course. I and another 200 millions people in Indonesia do care and want it to be completely examined and will support all out and do anything that can help - I believe.

but thats not what our life is all about, aint it?

I know everyone working on getting this done - especially those in Pansus Century - are extremely tired. we fully respect your job.

just, get us some fresh air.

we dont need to hear and see and be updated about the case's progress on every minute.
we would love to listen to the summary of all the progress achieved today.
and we would like to know about some unordinary thing happened during the progress on some breaking news - thats enough.
like the battle between these two old man

he somehow looks pretty much like Pak Bowo, my high school PKn teacher

still cant get rid of his role as 'Poltak' on 'Gerhana' (that cheesy tv series)

anyway, I also think that this infotainment syndrome has affected our DPR members and some governmental people's popularity too. they became somewhat like celebrities. being spotted anywhere they go whatever they do.

thats kinda funny.

I started to favoritized / idolized some of them.
those lucky people are

Ganjar Pranowo (old time)

Ganjar these days. just about 40. count on his gray hairs

Maruarar Sirait. chubby. and, he's just, got good things in his minds - I think

well, thats for today

Faculties of Medicine in Indonesia

2010-01-09T10:32:00.002+07:00

well, it is not that I have nothing to do.
I just want to write it

here is the list of public faculties of medicine in Indonesia
ranked down from the one with the highest pass grade (in percent) to the lowest one

1. Universitas Indonesia (UI) = 66,57
2. Universitas Airlangga (UNAIR) = 61,72
3. Universitas Gadjah Mada (UGM) = 59,72
4. Universitas Padjajaran (UNPAD) = 57,71
5. Universitas Brawijaya (UB) = 57,55
6. Universitas Diponegoro (UNDIP) = 57,21
7. Universitas Sebelas Maret (UNS) = 54,20
8. Universitas Sumatera Utara (USU) = 52,19
9. Universitas Andalas (UNAND) = 49,67
10. Universitas Hasanuddin (UNHAS) = 49,16
11. Universitas Sriwijaya (UNSRI) = 49,16
12. Universitas Lampung (UNILA) = 47,48
13. Universitas Riau (UNRI) = 46,62
14. Universitas Jenderal Soedirman (UNSOED) = 46,10
15. Universitas Negeri Jember (UNEJ) = 45,19
16. Universitas Lambung Mangkurat (UNLAM) = 44,59
17. Universitas Islam Negeri Jakarta (UIN-JAK) = 41,87
18. Universitas Sam Ratulangi (UNSRAT) = 41,87
19. Universitas Udayana (UNUD) = 41,87
20. Universitas Tanjungpura (UNTAN) = 38,50
21. Universitas Cendrawasih (UNCEN) = 35,29
22. Universitas Nusa Cendana (UNDANA) = 35,29
23. Universitas Haluoleo (UNHALU) = 35,29
24. Universitas Mulawarman (UNMUL) = 35,29
25. Universitas Syiah Kuala (UNSYIAH) = 35,29
26. Universitas Tadulako (UNTAD) = 35,29
27. Universitas Malikussaleh (UNIMAL) = 32,00

the pass grade does not determine the quality of the institution of course. maybe it just shows people interest. this also can change and will change.

So, there are 27 public universities with faculty of medicine for you to choose. they can be alternatives, doesnt have to be UI til die anyway - no offense.

source: Ganesha Operation latest update

DEJA VUS and THE KOLOR IJO GUY

2010-01-08T09:29:00.004+07:00

well, I'm having lots of deja vus lately.
thats an authentic proof of how boring and monotonous my life was these days.

every day passed by seems to mean nothing. just stupid routine.

wake up every morning, do the shubuh prayer or go back to sleep when having my periode. get a breakfast or morning supper, watch tv, do some math problems, tv again, take a bath when its going p.m. , back to tv, take a nap sometimes, back to the math problems book, tv, some noon supper, tv, get on the line, check the facebook til midnight, tv, bed time.

well, thats pretty much like a 60 years old's routine.

anyway, there`s something sick but funny happened couple days ago, on saturday the 2nd.
that day I went to a mall with some friends (ijul, ririn and puput) to talk about the medical school. we are all wanting to be a doctor anyway. ijul`s already on a private med school but she`s wanting to move to FKUI - where we are all head on to.
on my way to the mall, I visited a copy center to have some copies of some problems papers.
the copy center guy was doing another customer's order. I waited. and waited. and waited. and waited. will he ever finish anyway?

he seemed to realized, he came to me and tell me to go to another copy center cus he's not going to finish in a moment. okay - I was going to say shit anyway.
so I walked along the road to find any copy center. luckily, I found many, and fortunately, none is open.
come on. the new year day is yesterday!
then I found one that open about 2 km from the first one.

the sicking moments not end yet. the copy center guy was working in slow motion and I couldnt find the remote control to press the fast forward button.
but here came the funny moments
I was sleepy and extremely bored waiting for the slow motioned copy center guy finish my papers.
then came in some customers. they are all just normal except one.
yes, he is the KOLOR IJO GUY.

when he came in, the air suddenly changed from just normal to sour and sweaty.
gosh, did he even wash his face before getting here?
he absolutely havent got any shower. I bet he`s just woken up and suddenly realized he need to get some copy of some papers right this morning.
he left the place to find another copy center after spent some minutes waiting impatiently - I was stupidly think to tell him that no other copy center nearby was open, thank God I didnt.
well, I do have a lot of papers to get copied and since the copy guy was slow motioned, of course everyone`s waiting impatiently.

so, thats the story

GODS FISH THERAPY

2009-12-28T06:09:00.008+07:00

ever heard about that? gods fish?
no no no its nothing like gods of fish or somekind
its a kind of fish called gods

the story began when me and my mother went to Kuningan, West Java to visit my younger brother, Hanief.
he goes to an Islamic boarding school there.
we stayed for about 4 days there. some times spent in a motel and some other in my mother`s cousin`s place. this cousin of my mother is an opthalmologist - is it important to know what he does? come on - and he has 2 of his daughters goes to the same school with my brother.
my mother usually visits this little bro of mine with my father, and they always visit my uncle every time they came. so we`re kinda close.
that day, my aunt - wife to my uncle - invite us to go to the gods fish therapy place. she said it will be nice and relaxing and relieving stiffs and her friends have became really addicted to it. so that noon they took me and my mother to the place.

I thought the fish will be just like the kind we can find in spa and massage clinic - you know, that tiny white fish looks like `ikan teri`.
big no no nope.
its black. and sized about as big as an adult finger.
kinda spooky for me.
my uncle is the first to try putting his legs into the pool - yes these fishes lives in shallow pools.
and, AUCH!!
he suddenly screamed so loud just as the first fish touched his sole.
gosh, its scaring. what did the fish do to him?
nothing actually
he`s just so much over blowing it. the fish just bit his feet, eating its dead skin.
then my brother tried it.
after making my self sure its just okay, nothing bad will happen, I came in. my mother followed after. and my aunt stays squatting on the pool side, she was too afraid even just to pull a bit of her feet into the water. no wonder it was she who confinced us to came.

well, it doesnt hurt. but it really does tickling. very very very very much tickling.
so this is why you found those people - with legs in the pool - are laughing on their own.
the fishes seem to know when to stop biting. they will stop as all the dead skins have been removed. they finish me in about 15 minutes. but they stayed with my uncle until like 30 minutes later. maybe he`s just got lots and lots of dead skin. LOL

pictures of the place

some nature sceneries of the place

some pictures of the fishes biting our legs

some guys who take care of the pools and the fishes said that these are sacred fishes. they used to be taken care by those late javanese `Sunan` - you know, people who spread Islam in early javanese people. they also said the fishes are staying exactly the same amount. they do reproduce, but they do not enlarge the population. its like for every 3 fish died, 3 baby fish born. I dont know if it is true or just some myth. they of course can not count the exact fish amount.

me and my aunt on the pool side

my thinny younger brother

anyway, you can enter the pools area by only Rp 3.500 for adult and Rp 2.500 for children and you can spend the whole day there for no more charge.
you should try it if someday you`re going to Kuningan. it is fun and I will go there again next time I`m visiting my bro.

getting taller

2009-12-17T21:56:00.010+07:00

hey!
umm, well, straight to the point
I`m just about 5 feet tall and I am trying to get taller. even just for some centimeters.
I tried rope jumping, and gave it up.
I can not swim, so I didnt try.

then I saw these advertisements on a tv shop.
about a japan electronic product that claimed can make you taller until 1 cm by a week usage and also get you slimmer legs called 'Stand High'.
its some kind of foot massager combined with some kind of cream for the legs.
it works by vibrating the nerves and muscles and tendons in your legs, they say it will stimulate your bones to grow. and because it vibrates your legs, it`s fat and cellulite will be burned. thats logical for me.

and the ad is really persuasive and tempting and I am tempted. the tv shows it over and over again, every day, you can still find them by now. so I get more and more tempted. but like all other products those tv shops sell. costs a lot with no warranty.

unintentionally, I found that my father has some kind of this product.
this one is an imitation of the imitation of that one on tv.
looks pretty much just the same. it even works the same way.
so, who cares it was an imitation quadrate? LOL

I`ve been using it for like 2 weeks.
and
I feel yet no difference.
since this was an imitation quadrate, maybe it will show some changes in a more longer time.
thats okay. nothing to lose anyway.
and even if it doesnt work in making my bones to grow, at least the vibrations will a bit help in making my legs look rather like a leg - less like a baseball stick as it is now. LOL

I am not an-appearance-is-everything-person or some kind. nope
but you cant deny that people always judge a book by its cover and determine stuff by its package. well, or something like that.

and like every other normal girl, I do want to have a pair of slim and beautiful legs.
dont get it wrong, I am not a freak about body shape. I do want to be a zero size. but like most other normal girl, I just want it and never do anything serious to get it. its just, we think everything will be more fun and the world will be less cruel to us if we are one - a zero size. just some stupid - but sometimes appear to be as true as can be - dreamy thought.

well, thats the news.

ebook download addict

2009-12-07T18:51:00.005+07:00

yes, I am now officially an ebook download addict.

spent hours browsing and downloading ebooks.

to be noted, just downloading. the reading part is another matter. LOL

I downloaded like 16 ebooks just this noon. wow
dont even know if I have the time to read them.
well, I really do plan to read them all, I love reading, so its just a matter of time.

and I`m gonna share some sites link for free ebook downloading.

free-ebooks.net
this site requires you to be a member for free ebook downloading and limited to 5 books per month. you need to give up some money to be a vip member which allows you to download unlimited books and also ebook for mobile phone.

free-ebook-download.net
I dont really know about this one but, I think its worth trying

gutenberg.org
some ebooks in this site are not allowed to be downloaded by people out of U.S. so you must check the copyright laws before downlading.

planetebook.com
I looove this site. though it just provides classic novel and literature ebooks

manybooks.net
not yet know much about this one too. just try, nothing to lose anyway

scribd.com
this is a youtube for written documents. you will find many kind of documents about anything not only in the form of a book.

not enough?
just use "mbah google" to find more with just some simple keyword like "free ebook" or "free ebook download"

and if you have a bank account and you have some more than enough money, some free-to download sites need some donations.

*I feel like I`m doing a free advertising. those sites should give me something in return. LOL

well, enjoy your ebook downloading!

new moon = total lullaby

2009-12-06T23:39:00.002+07:00

I just watched this phenomenal movie this noon.
way too late, I know
watched it with a high school friend, puput.
actually we planned to do some study before watching the movie. but, as usual, I came late - damn me.
so, we have so little time to study, well, we tried, to do some "ipa terpadu" problems and we gave almost every question up.
for me, that was totally not a study at all.

so this noon out is only about seeing this ridiculous movie. I could really fall asleep at any moment.
the ironic things are,
- the`re like millions of people waiting for this movie - I`m not one of them of course, I never like these twilight sagas, just dont know why feel need to see.
- the trailer made us think it was going to be some action and NOT BORING. the movie made ME think the total contrary
- they paid DAKOTA FANNING just to appear for some seconds. what a waste
- jasper was shown only for some seconds too - he`s the only character I like on the movie anyway.

the good things are, this one is not too much a girl movie like the old one.
and jacob black cut his seemed-to-be-never-brushed-hair - which made him look less sloppy and thats good.

well, I think I`m gonna write a review of this movie on my movie review blog later.
seriously neck aching and need to go to bed now.

first time picture editing

2009-12-05T21:27:00.004+07:00

gosh, my neck is sooo much aching.

after spending like full 3 hours in front of my notebook, editing - real editing - a picture of me taken with a webcam. converting it from just a messy picture taken at home to a formal picture - you know, the one that is for formal occasions like passport and id card, well, I just dont know the word for that.

the problem is, this is the first time of my entire life I`m doing a real picture editing - dont know what did I do back in high school for 3 whole years. so, that is why it took 3 full hours for me to just do this

how is it? not bad for a first time aint it?

well, if you pay more attention to the right eye, it somehow looks more white - even looks like a fake eye to me. maybe thats just a bad lighting effect anyway. took at home, remember?

and you can see that blurry sight of a waving hand in the original picture. that was my moms hand. I asked her to do the click to take the pic, unfortunately she waved her hand up after clicking. not intentionally, of course.

thats it for this post. see you

MY OWN MOVIE REVIEW BLOG

2009-12-04T23:58:00.003+07:00

hello! aloha! hai! hi! moshi2! ni hao!

guys, I just released a new blog.
a movie reviews blog. tittled "reviews of movies I watched"
check it here!

on the new blog, I will only post movie reviews of those movies I watched.
may be some old movies, new released ones, or just some I just watched.
there aint many posts now, but more reviews are comiiiiing

so I wont be posting movie reviews on this blog anymore. this one will be about my days, life, and my views of mind.

oh, and I`m copy-pasting movie review posts in here to the new blog for starting posts.

hope you enjoy!

This Week Movie Reviews

2009-11-29T06:22:00.003+07:00

I watched 5 movies this week.
and I`m gonna review them all

first is Inglourious Basterds
its a cute movie I think - crazy uh?
I do not mean the story is cute, its the story telling and the way the scenes goes.
I believe most people have seen it, since its just released on August. but I`ll tell the main story for those who havent.

began with some young girls in a small village in nazi-occupied-france running home after seeing some army is coming. the nazi army is seeking for some hiding and hidden jews in the village.
then the scene moves to some jewish guys in army uniform set a line in front of their lieutenant who is having a speech about their new job, "we`re gonna do one thing, and one thing only, killing Nazi"

this is one of those nazi movies, from jew perspective of course.

there`s a lot of violences in the movie (rated R), so its highly not recommended for kids.
but the story telling really is interesting, the scenes divided in different chapters like in a book. and you`ll find many dialogues in french, since it took place mostly there. also some in german and english, of course.
starring Brad Pitt as Lt. Aldo Rain, the head of The Basterds. Melania Laurent as Shosanna, a jew girl who ran away from the masacre of her family in a village in france.
Cristoph Waltz, Diane Kruger, Til Schweiger, and Michael Fassbender are also in the movie.

see the trailer here

the second is Grace Is Gone
the story is about and only about a father who loses her soldier wife - named Grace - in the war in Iraq and unable but struggles to tell his daughters about what happened to their mom.
a sad movie, a very much family movie (rated PG-13), but not very much recommended. there are almost no conflict but the one in the father`s mind.
well I love John Cusack - stars the father - though. thats why I buy the movie.
it got 2 golden globe nominations and winner in sundance film festival anyway - dont know for what category.

watch the trailer here

the third, The Other Boleyn Girl
is a historical movie - which I always love - based on a novel with the same tittle, about the intrigues in England Kingdom of king Henry VIII era. his passions - and the family ambition - have totally ruined the lives of two used-to-be-very-close sisters and their whole family and even the country and kingdom of England itself.

3 Academy Award nominations.
great epic, great intrigue, great story, great casts, great movie.

starring Eric Bana as King Henry VIII, Natalie Portman as Anne Boleyn and Scarlett Johansson as Mary Boleyn.

very recommended.

the trailer is here

the fourth, Pride & Prejudice
I think everybody must have ever heard of the movie or at least the great book. the book even made as an obligatory reading for students in US.
exactly as the tittle, the story is about prides and prejudices.

sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with is the one person you cant be without

young Lizzie Bennet always look at everything in a diffferent way of her sisters and family, especially her mother. she is a modern minded late 18th century woman, who do not think a woman way of life is only to find a husband - which was her mother had always put in mind. found herself so much attracted to a young bachelor Mr. Darcy, who look really snobbish but actually very kind hearted, just do not know how to start a conversation and how to get close to someone.

a very sweet drama. very proper to be watched for love couples (rated PG).

starring Keira Knightley as Lizzie, Matthew Macfadyen as Mr. Darcy, Brenda Blethyn, Donald Sytherland, Judy Dench and some others.

trailer is here

the last one, The Libertine
another Johnny Depp`s movie, which supposed I love to watch, but I dont for this one. not that its not a good movie - I believe it is. but it just has too much coarse sexuality.

the story is about the young Second Earl of Rochester who is also a play writer, John Wilmot. he is very much sex oriented and never found not in drunk.
nevertheless, his intelligence and craziness finally brought England to a new era of governmental, the kingdom stays exist - with King Charles II - but the governmenting is not anymore in the King`s hands only, they got the parliament from then on.

starring Johnny Depp as John Wilmot, Samantha Morton as Elizabeth Barry, the actress of Johnny`s plays and also his lover, John Malkovich as the King.

its another Johnny`s true events based movie.

surely the kids should not watch. but I dont know why they only rated it PG.

the trailer

SICK OF IT

2009-11-29T05:29:00.002+07:00

these stuffs about most recommended movie of the week, I`m tired of it.
well, I love reviewing movies, but if I happen to watched the movie months or even years ago, its hard. I dont remember most of the scenes anymore, and I never want to watch a movie twice - except for some special occasions.

I will still post movie reviews here, I`m just gonna change the subject
I`ll just review the movies I currently watched, so I still remember the whole story.
and I`m not setting time of when to post it. I`m gonna post it anytime I want, anytime I feel like it, anytime I`ve just watched a movie.
started today.

the almost-young-big-fat lady and the old one

2009-11-22T23:37:00.005+07:00

couple days ago when I was on a public vehicle - angkot - I saw these two ladies.
the first was about on her early thirties-maybe -, big and fat and unrespectable - once I thought.
the second was a quiet really old lady. I cant guess her age. she just looks sooo old, wrinkles all over her face, toddler-countable-teeth-amount, not very well taken care and very thinned and smalled by age. I think over 65, but well, some people just made look older than they really are by hard living.

I can see the relationship between these 2 ladies is mother-and-daughter. nothing quiet impressive or something.

until I listened to their conversation. not about something important - at all, really. but it made me think of my mother.
the old lady was asking about the buildings around the places we pass through. and the daughter was answering and I was watching and steal-listening. it kept on. a lot of times with the same exact question asked over and over and over and over and over and over and over. and yes, the young lady answered over and over and over and over and over and over and over with almost same answer but wonderfully with not even one shed of petulance (impatience) nor annoyance nor peevish. in my eyes she changed from an unrespectable to a very fully respectable lady.

I wonder - gosh - will I be able to be that patient to my mom when the time has come for that to both of us - I mean when she`s that old and started having dimentia or somekind and I will have to answer her questions over and over?
I really hope she will never get any kind of that, though.

well, I surely do love my mom - every normal kid does, I suppose.
and I surely do behave bad to her and badmouthed her a couple too many times - most normal kid does, I think.
(and it doesnt mean I dont love my father - I do, but most of us love him in another way of loving, you know, unlike the way we love mother, I mean)

but, like somebody said
most of every kid just be good to their mother when they were so young and when they are so old.

I`m afraid I am one of them.

guess what? they`ve invited me to the club!

I dont want to be some rebellious kid and sent to hell.
I do love my mom. but I`m afraid I`m not a good enough kid who able to be good to parent when it seems and fells really like you dont need your parent anymore.
you know, when you`ve succeeded and fulfilled your dreams and you think you achieved it of your hard work.
or when you really hate what your parent did to you and when you think they have been so unfair to you and when you feel they love your siblings or even another kid more than you and when you just think every failure you`re having is because of them and when you even think that you never even ask them to make you. some really good people maybe never think of any of that. but I know most living people have ever had some.

well, I`ll try to remember this feeling - this kind of guilty feeling that I havent been a good enough kid - to the rest of my time, so I will try my best to do good, behave good, and be an-almost-good enough kid until that time - the time of the fat lady and her mother currently having - come and continue being so until my rest of time just not having any rest of it anymore.
Amin

well I hope this post is gonna make some - even just a very little bit - sense to you.

most recommended movie of the week: INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

2009-11-18T14:01:00.017+07:00

MOST RECOMMENDED MOVIE OF THE WEEK : INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

directed by Neil Jordan, from the novel with the same tittle by Anne Rice and released on 1994 - gosh, I`m just a toddler that time - this movie is THE BEST VAMPIRE MOVIE EVER MADE for me - you know I just overblown everything.
I read some other people`s reviews about this movie before writing this, then I realized, the story isnt really great or something - but its worth watching, be sure of that.
its more to a drama than a horror or mystery or even thriller.

well, the casts really do make some sense.
especially Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt.
Pitt doesnt really impress me with the acts nor the look in the movie though.
anyway, Cruise really does. I have always been adoring him and his movies, but he was just a fatherly figure for me. in the movie, he transformed from a very father figure to a sexy irresistible high class vampire. appeared in long wavy blonde hair and pale skin, he really fitted the vampire Lestat character.

you will also find young Kirsten Dunst playing an everlasting young vampire girl, Claudia, who was adopted by both Louis (Pitt) and Lestat (Cruise) as their daughter. there are also some cameo appearance from Christian Slater (Malloy, the interviewer), Antonio Banderas and Stephen Rea (Armand and Santiago, another vampires).

the scenes began with Louis being interviewed by Malloy, a journalist who felt very interested with the life of this mysterious guy, a bit shocked and couldnt believe when the guy claimed himself a vampire, then began to tell the story of his life from the moment he became one.
the scenes going on interestingly I think.
here is a bit of the story reviewed by homevideos.com

In 1791, after the sudden death of his wife, New Orlean's plantation owner, Louis, has lost his will to live. Vampire Lestat finds Louis affable and offers him a chance at joining him in immortality. With consent, Lestat turns Louis into a vampire and begins to teach him the ways of the night. But unable to take life, unlike Lestat, Louis grows to regret his decision. Ready to leave, Lestat turns a little girl into a vampire to persuade Louis to stay. With Louis narrating the story 200 years later, he tells of his adventures in death, love, and trouble to a young San Franciscan reporter.

some pics of the movie

another reviewer of the movie said that the ending is silly, but I think its really not. contrastly, the ending makes me want to know whats going on after.
well you can find it out on the sekuel book of this Vampire Chronicle series, authored by Ann Rice, The Vampire Lestat. She`s also the author of another filmed vampire novel, The Queen of the Damned.

find more about Ann Rice here

you can see the trailer here

after all, its a good movie - for me - which is why I recommend it for you.
hope you enjoy it!

*its rated "R" (restricted) for vampire violence and gore and sexuality

Laughter: The Best Medicine

2009-11-18T02:14:00.003+07:00

before going to sleep - already in bed - I`m wanting to post some funny stories - spoof, is that what they called it? - taken from the Reader`s Digest Magazine (Asia ed), November 1983 edition. used to be my mom`s anyway, thats why its soo old.

ADMIRINGLY, a mother asked her married daughter how she managed to keep her grocery bills so low. "its easy," the daughter explained. "I put the baby in the shopping cart, and before I reach the counter, he throws half the stuff out."
- Philip Lazarus in National Enquirer

TWO MEN were getting ready to leave a pub. "you cant live with`em and you cant live without`em," one of the men grumbled. "thats the way women are, pal," agreed the other. "who said anything about women?" snarled the first fellow. "I`m talking about credit cards."
- James Dent

A MAN AND HIS WIFE were upset by their daughter`s limited vocabulary. everything was either "awesome" or "gross" 50 times a day, depending on whether she liked or disliked something. finally the father said, "okay, Mandy - there are two words I dont want to hear anymore. one is gross and the other is awesome."
"fer sure, Dad," Mandy answered agreeably. "what are they?"
- contributed by E.G.

A MAN was in a grocery store with his stingy friend when two robbers stormed in and announced stickup. as the robbers began searching the patrons for money, the man felt a nudge. "take this," his pal whispered. "dont give me a gun," the man whispered back. "I dont want to be a hero."
"its not a gun - its that twenty five dollars I owe you."
- contributed by Dean Morgan.

well, maybe you dont even get it funny. but the third one is my favorite.

nanana

2009-11-18T01:52:00.002+07:00

its almost 2 in the morning and I`m still alive!!
could be the first time in centuries - ok, I overblown it.
used to have fallen asleep even before 10 pm. LOL

I got a bad habit. once I`m still awake over midnight, then it could be till over dawn.
note that, could be
I`m a truly pelor (nempel-molor)

just did some blogwalking over some 78 shs friends`s blogs
and just - again - realized how old fashioned and not attractive mine is.

well, who cares? - really
the thing - most important thing - about blogging is just to trust yourself. dont give any shit on how many people are visiting yours - if even there is. you`re just writing whats in your mind, no matter if anybody knows.

yeah just like I`m a pro-blogger. LOL

MOVIE REVIEW

2009-11-17T22:49:00.003+07:00

well,
I just decided to do this
write movie reviews on this blog regularly
these posts will be titled: "MOST RECOMMENDED MOVIE OF THE WEEK"
yes, it will be a weekly posts
think I`ll start it this friday / saturday night

so, if you`re about to rent/watch some movies on weekend, you can just check some of my recommendations.

but you`ll be finding a lot of Johnny Depp`s and Brad Pitt`s movies. cuz I`m just a big fan of their`s.

well, see you on friday / saturday night.

IM2 THE DAMNED

2009-11-17T22:46:00.001+07:00

ya ampyun
gw pengen bersumpah serapah gara2 si IM2 ini.
disconnected tiap 5 detik.
tiap 5 detik gw mesti buka windownya mobile partner buat ngeklik connect.
seteres ooooiiii

ngetik segini aja gw udah mesti ngeklik 2-3 kali
GOSH

kasian kambingnya

2009-11-17T21:43:00.005+07:00

sore tadi
gw berangkat les GO di tengah hujan lebat
payung, jaket dan sendal jepit jadi senjata.
setelah mendaki gunung menyeberang sungai lewati lembah, sampailah gw di GO dengan selamat sentosa sehat wal afiat.
haha

lalu
ada apa dengan kambing?

begini ceritanya,
di sepanjang pinggir jalan menuju GO, gw mendapati para kambing marching band.
ada paduan suara juga
suara 1= mbeek mbeek mbeek
suara 2= mbeeeeek mbeeeeek mbeeeeek
suara 3= mbeeeeeeeeeek mbeeeeeeeeeek mbeeeeeeeeeek
oke, gw ga jelas. dan ga lucu.

serius nih
gw kasian aja ngeliat kambing2 yang dijejer dipinggir jalan, diikat, makan tidur boker di situ2 juga, memelas pada orang2 yang lewat untuk membeli dia, menjadikannya hewan kurban, mengakhiri penderitaannya, membuatnya lebih cepat bertemu Yang Mahakuasa.
oke, ga jelas lagi.

intinya, gw kasian ngeliat kambing2 yang dijajakan di pinggir jalan itu diguyur hujan deras tadi sore. mereka diikat, mau cari tempat berteduh aja ga bisa. kasian banget. beberapa diantara mereka mengembek minta tolong - anggap aja gw ngerti bahasa kambing.
hal ini membuat gw bersyukur terlahir sebagai manusia. mau pergi kemana pun mau melakukan apa pun, asal ga ngelanggar hukum, tak ada yang melarang. hahahihihuhu

aih, penyakit geje gw kambuh.

_nunus_nunuy_

Dokter Gigi: CABUT SATU CABUT SEMUA

2009-11-11T08:13:00.007+07:00

pengakuan dosa: semalam gw tidur belum sikat gigi (untuk kesekian kalinya)

auwauwauw
padahal sore ini jadwal gw ke dokter gigi (lagi)
belum cukup apa gigi bolong gw?
status gigi gw yang ditambal: 8 buah, termasuk 2 diantaranya masih perawatan saluran akar. dan masih bakal nambah

oh my
umur gw baru 18 dan gigi gw udah kaya gini. gimana ntar gw umur 50an. ga-punya-gigi kali. amit-amit deh.

makanya sekarang nyokap lg cerewet2nya nyuruh gw benerin gigi. seminggu sekali ke dokter gigi. meskipun biaya yang dikeluarin udah cukup buat gw ganti hape baru.
demi masa depan. uhu

and now I`m getting used with the dentist.
drg. Basril
itu dokter gigi gw.
orangnya baiiiiiikk. meskipun udah tua, tapi ganteng - jangan mikir yang macem2. dan kalo nyabut gigi ga sakit.

ohiya, gigi geraham gw udah ada 2 yang dicabut karena udah ga bisa diprtahankan lagi.
astaghfirullah.
gw mau insaf deh, rajin2 sikat gigi.

gw udah 3 kali bolak-balik ke dokter ini. bareng nyokap. sekalian nyokap mau cabutin gigi yang udah jelek terus ntar mau pasang gigi palsu. hiks. entah kenapa gw ga enak dengernya. berasa nyokap udah tuuaaaaa banget sampe mesti pake gigi palsu. desember nanti nyokap golden age sih.

aaaaahhh
makanya nyokap cerewet. katanya dulu waktu kecil ga pernah ada yang nasihati nyokap untuk rajin sikat gigi. jadinya sekarang giginya ancur. nah gw, udah tiap hari dicerewetin masih aja males. emang dasar bebal.

ohiya, gw ada cerita menarik dari dokter basril.
katanya dulu waktu dia jd dokter di kalimantan, di daerah suku apa gt gw lupa. nah, di sana nemu gadis umur 17 tahun yang ompong semua giginya tu udah bukan hal aneh lagi.
kenapa?
karena mereka punya kepercayaan, kalo gigi udah ada yang bolong sebiji, pasti bakal nular ke gigi yang lain. jadinyaaaaaa, CABUT SATU CABUT SEMUA. terus pasang gigi palsu deh. kata dokter basril, udah sampe capek ngebilanginnya, udah dikasi penyuluhan macem2, udah dinasihati, bahwa lubang gigi itu ga menular, tetep aja ga percaya. jadi, ya, mau apa lagi, cabut semua.
mungkin karena itu pak dokter ini kalo nyabut gigi sampe ga berasa ya. sudah terlatih. hihi
makanya nyokap sampe bela2in ke tempat prakteknya dokter ini, di Binong - yang lumayan jauh dari rumah gw di daerah karawaci.

sekian dulu. ntar sore gw usahain ambil beberapa gambar dari TKP.

jangan lupa sikat gigi sebelum tidur ya!

_nunus_nunuy_

Mouse Gw Parkinson

2009-11-09T22:19:00.006+07:00

lalala
kan gw baru dibeliin notebook+modem hu*wei sama bokap.
terus
kalo cuma buat ngetik2 sama facebook-an sih touchpad-nya oke2 aja.
tapi buat mainan kurang nyaman juga.
gw males mesti nyabut mouse dari pc.
terus
gw inget dulu pernah dikasi mouse lucu oleh om gw - yang pemilik tempat servis-jual-beli komputer dan aksesorisnya. mouse lucu itu berbentuk mobil - sport kayaknya - berwarna abu2 metalik - apa silver? yah pokoknya gitulah. keren sih menurut gw.
ini fotonya

tampak atas

tampak agak ke samping

fotonya gw ambil pake webcam jadi yaaaaaa begitulah. harap maklum

gimana? lumayan kan mousenya?

taaaapiiii
ternyataaaaaa
PARKINSON
kata tante wiki sih parkison itu: penyakit degeneratif saraf.
contohnya itu tuh yang diderita petinju jaman dulu. siapa namanya? mike tyson apa muhammad ali ya?
yah pokoknya si parkinson ini nyerang saraf dan bikin tangan penderitanya gemetar tak terkendali.

itu kalo nyerang manusia. kalo nyerang mouse?
jadinya kursor yang gemetar tak terkendali.
itulah yang terjadi pada mouse lucu keren nan futuristik gw itu.
kirain bisa keren2an pamer mouse lucu
yah, nasib. mungkin gw emang harus beli mouse - bukan gratisan.
sekalian beli flashdisk baru.

belum cerita ya?
flashdisk nexus gw pecah berkeping2 - lebay.
kok bisa?
lagi ngobrol sama nyokap, iseng, puter2 tali flashdisk, tiba2 mental, kena kipas angin yang nemplok di langit2 - apa dah nama kerennya? lupa - terus jatuh si flashdisk, langsung gw cek, udah pecah berkeping2.

innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun

jadilah gw harus beli flashdisk baru - berhubung flashdisk nexus gw yang lama, Nexus 1, kembarannya Nexus 2 yang baru saja berpulang ke rahmatullah, udah rusak duluan gara2 dibawa ke warnet, cuma sekali, buat ngeprint dokumen penting karena waktu itu printer rumah lg rusak. eh, udah dokumennya lay out-nya jadi ngaco, nyampe rumah Nexus 1 tewas pula.
huahahaha

dan
lalala
segitu aja kisah sedih di hari senin ini

_nunus_nunuy_

kabar perngangguran

2009-11-08T20:14:00.001+07:00

post berikut gw copas dari note di facebook.
intinya sih cuma ngasi kabar bahwa sekarang gw belum kuliah dan menganggur ria sambil kursus2. ga penting2 amat sih. jadi kalo ga lagi nganggur berhenti baca sampe di sini aja. haha

note ini berjudul: GW NGANGGUR, OH YEAH!!

Ga tau kenapa gw terinspirasi buat nulis note ini.
Bahkan mungkin ga ada pentingya.
Haha

Yah, maksud sebenarnya adalah buat memberi tahu orang2 yang belum punya tahu bahwa gw adalah calon pengangguran alias ga kuliah selama setaun kedepan.
Gw lumayan capek jawabin dan balesin wall2 mereka yg belum punya tahu ataupun masih penasaran, jadi gw memutuskan untuk nulis note ini.

Jd begini ceritanya:

Dari kecil, gw udah pengen banget jadi dokter. Kadang2 emang berubah, tapi ujung2nya balik lagi ke dokter. Ditambah banyaknya sodara gw yg berprofesi dokter ataupun kuliah kedokteran dan dukungan dari nyokap, di kelas 3 SMA kemaren gw membulatkan tekad untuk jadi dokter.
Berbagai tes masuk udah gw ikuti. Mulai SIMAK UI yang najong itu, UM UGM, UMB, sampe yang terakhir SNMPTN. Gw milih fakultas kedokteran sebagai pilihan pertama di semua tes. Tapi ternyata Allah belum mengijinkan gw masuk kedokteran tahun ini. Mungkin usaha gw masih kurang. Mungkin gw masih harus banyak introspeksi diri lagi. Semoga taun depan gw bisa menyusul teman2 gw yg udah lebih dulu masuk. Amin.

Sebenernya orangtua gw sama sekali ga maksa gw untuk jadi sesuatu. Oke, nyokap gw emang kadang suka plin plan ngebujuk gw untuk jd sesuatu yg dia idamkan, salah satunya ya jd dokter itu. Gw ga masalah buat yg satu ini karena emang itu cita2 gw. Yang lainnya, kadang nyokap mengiming-imingi gw untuk jd arsitek, yg kemudian jadi salah satu dasar gw milih jurusan arsitektur interior UI waktu UMB. Kadang juga nyokap ngebujuk2 supaya gw masuk jurusan berbau teknologi, dari bioteknologi, teknik lingkungan, sampe berbagai jenis teknik pertanian.

Tapi gw tetep yakin bahwa jadi dokter adalah jalan hidup gw (ahah).

Tanggal 29 Juni kemarin keyakinan gw digoyahkan. Pengumuman UMB, gw dinyatakan diterima di jurusan arsitektur interior UI. Gw cukup suka dan tertarik pada dunia arsitektur kok. Bahkan profesi bokap gw juga di dunia arsitektur interior. Tapi gw bener2 bingung karna jadwal registrasinya tanggal 1 Juli bersamaan dgn dilaksanakannya SNMPTN. Kalo gw pilih ambil arsi interior berarti gw harus lepasin cita2 gw seenggaknya untuk taun ini.

Akhirnya gw dan nyokap memutuskan gw ambil arsi inter ini tapi taun depan gw coba fk lagi. Gw udah koar2 begitu di facebook, bahkan udah tanya2 sama alumni yang kuliah di arsi. Besoknya, tanggal 30, segala arsip dan berkas yg diperlukan buat registrasi udah siap.

Dan datanglah bokap gw. Tiba2 dia bilang ga setuju. Menurut dia, kalo gw masih mau fk, ikut SNMPTN, kalo ga dapet, mending gw ga kuliah dan les aja setaun ini daripada kuliah sambil belajar buat tes masuk lagi. “Nanti kamu ga fokus,” kata bokap. Menurut dia, arsitektur itu ga cocok buat gw. Sekolahnya susah, kerjanya lebih susah lagi. Secara bokap berkecimpung di bidang itu, gw percaya dan gw juga udah turut merasakan susahnya. Kerjaan di bidang arsitektur itu banyak urusan sama konglomerat2 (yang di Indonesia didominasi keturunan Tionghoa) yang biasanya menghalalkan berbagai cara demi mendapat keuntungan sebesar2nya. Bukannya rasis, tapi emang begitu kenyataannya. Bokap udah beberapa kali jd korban – meski sebenernya juga karna bokap gw teledor dan gampang percaya sama orang – kasus umumnya, proyek udah rampung tapi DP aja belum lunas, diutang/dicicil sampe bertahun-tahun. Bokap nombok dan keluarga jadi korban. Uhu

Alesan bokap lainnya yang ga terucap namun tersirat, sayang duit. Ihi.

Yah pokoknya begitu. Dan gw tetep bingung. Selama ini gw berdoa minta supaya Allah memberi yang terbaik buat gw. Gw takut salah mengartikan ini, sebagai ujian buat keyakinan gw atau ini memang yang terbaik buat gw. Malem itu gw tidur ga nyenyak. Gue ga sadar, tapi nyokap bilang gw demam semaleman.

Paginya, gw harus ngambil keputusan. Cao ke Depok atau ke lokasi tes SNMPTN gw di jalan Jend. Ahmad Yani (kalo ga salah). Gw mandi sambil nangis. Badan panas dingin. Isi kepala kocar kacir. Keluar kamar mandi gw mutusin buat ikut tes aja.

Alhasil gw tes sambil pusing pusing dan berkeringat dingin ria. Gw rasa hasilnya ancur. Dan memang iya.
Gatau apa yang gw pikir waktu milih buat ikut tes, yang jelas mau gak mau gw merasa nyesel dan setengah nyalahin bokap juga. Berhari-hari gw nangis dan bungkam.

Setelah gw pikir2, emang sayang juga duit yang bakal keluar buat uang pangkal, kos, semesteran dan tetek bengeknya kalo gw ambil arsi interior untuk ditinggal setelah setaun.

Tanggal 29 Juli sore, pengumuman hasil SNMPTN. Gw baru berani liat paginya. Ga seperti yang gw harapkan bahwa akan ada keajaiban. Gw ga diterima.

UM III lokal UNSOED masih buka pendaftaran sampe tgl 6 Agustus. Tesnya tanggal 9. Harapan muncul. Meski selama libur gw ga pernah belajar lagi, masih ada waktu sekitar seminggu buat persiapan.
Kabar buruk kedua datang. Nenek gw dari bokap yang tinggal di Jember meninggal. Oh yeah. Gw kembali bingung. Nyokap dan tante gw yang anaknya kiliah di fk unsoed ngebujuk gw buat tetep ikut tes. Tapi berhubung um unsoed ini lokal, gw harus ke Purwokerto buat daftar dan tes sendirian karna bokap nyokap harus ke Jember. Oh yeah lagi.

Jujur, gw emang ga terlalu sedih dgn meninggalnya nenek gw. Disamping karena gw ga pernah terlalu deket sama dia, dia juga udah cukup tua, 84 tahun, dan udah sakit sampe ga bisa jalan sejak 4 taunan yang lalu. Tapi keluarga bokap itu keluarga Tionghoa. Kalo ada tetua yang meninggal pasti semua keluarga ngusahain banget untuk dateng dan acara plus ritual dan tradisinya butuh waktu sampe hampir seminggu. Adek gw sekolah di pesantren jadi ga bisa dibawa, kerjaan kakak gw ga bisa ditinggal (katanya).

Jadi, gw berasa ga enak aja kalo bokap nyokap gw dateng ga bawa anak barang sebiji.
Demi keluarga, meskipun diiringi mewek dulu, gw mutusin ikut ke Jember dan bener2 melepas cita2 gw untuk taun ini.

Demikianlah ceritanya.

Semoga taun depan Allah SWT mengijinkan gw menjadi mahasiswi fakultas kedokteran.

AMIN.

Nah, selama nganggur ini gw berniat les lagi dan kursus2 apa gitu sambil ngelesin privat anak SD. Kalo ada yang punya kenalan anak SD yang butuh guru privat, DIHARAP DGN SANGAT UNTUK MENGHUBUNGI GW.

Hahahaha

Terimakasih sudah mau membaca note yang kepanjangan ini.

Sekali lagi, HARAP HUBUNGI GW kalo nemu anak SD yang butuh guru privat. Hehe
Terimakasih (lagi).

*makasih juga buat semua teman2 tercinta dan kakak2 dan XIIIE XIIIE atas dukungan dan doanya

**maaf ga bisa nge tag semuanya

I`m Back: Sebuah Perjalanan Panjang Mencari Internet

2009-11-07T23:04:00.005+07:00

uhu
kapan ya terakhir kali gw nge-post di blog ini?
uwaw
hampir setengah tahun yang lalu.

nah, sekarang gw mau cerita sedikit banyak tentang mengapa oh mengapa gw ga update blog selama ini.

awalnya, UN dan ujian2 masuk PTN biang keroknya. terus, keterusan.
waktu gw mulai sadar untuk lebih aktif di blog, muncul penghalang baru yaitu internet. rumah gw waktu itu belum pasang internet dan gw masih bergantung pada lintah darat bernama `warnet`. didorong oleh kesadaran gw akan keinginan untuk lebih aktif nge-blog, gw membujuk rayu ortu supaya mau pasang internet. setelah dapet acc dari bokap, mulailah gw cari2 provider internet yang cocok.

muncullah setan penghalang bernama SLOWY - bukan nama sebenarnya. benar2 setan pengganggu, dimana-mana dia muncul. di telepon rumah hampir setiap hari, di brosur2, sampai di mal yang kebetulan sedang dikunjingi oleh keluarga gw. di situ setan ini berhasil menghasut gw+keluarga buat menggunakan layanan internet dari si SLOWY ini. oke, kita daftar melalui si pegawai SLOWY ini. katanya, dalam 3 hari bakal ada orang dia yang datang ke rumah buat masang SLOWY nya.
seminggu berlalu...
dua minggu...
gw coba telepon si pak Sart*n* pegawai SLOWY. katanya: oh iya, kami sedang ada kendala, dalam seminggu ini akan kami usahakan.
minggu ke-3...
gw telpon lagi. jawaban sangat tidak memuaskan - gw lupa apa

nyokap mutusin buat nelpon kantor pusatnya. katanya, pendaftaran kita yang kemarin itu belum masuk arsip, jadi mesti daftar lg. oke. katanya bakal dihubungi lg dlm 3 hari
3 hari kemudian
mbak2nya nelpon, bilang kalo SLOWY lg ada kendala. nanti dihubungi lg.
seminggu lebih kemudian
nyokap nelpon ke kantor pusatnya lg. yang jawab beda. katanya, nomor ibu tidak ada di arsip pendaftar. oh. oh. oh. nyokap ngomel2, ngomong panjang lebar kali tinggi bagi dua. grrrr
maunya apa sih si SLOWY ini?
akhirnya dia ngasi alesan, katanya jaringan ibu ini termasuk jaringan yang susah untuk dipasang SLOWY.
cih
dari awal bilang dong. nelpon nawarin tiap hari ternyata malah jaringannya ga bisa.
cuih cuih cuih

cerita cinta dengan F*stnet
kecewa dgn SLOWY gw berpaling pada F*stnet. browsing2, nanya2, cari2 info, mulai berharap, dan lagi, harapan gw kandas. kantor pusat F*stnet jaraknya ga sampe 3 km dari rumah gw - melalui jalan konvensional -, tapi area rumah gw ga masuk coverage areanya F*astnet. ohohoho

cinta ketiga dengan Indos*tM2
cinta ketiga ini di mak comblangi oleh teman dekat gw si kepiting batak. dan kepiting yang satu ini cukup andal dalam dunia percomblangan. buktinya, gw dan Indos*tM2 sudah seiya sekata sekarang. makanya gw bisa update blog lagi. hehehehe
eits, jangan salah. hubungan kami juga sempat mengalami berbagai ujian dan cobaan.
mulai dari bokap gw yang ga nanya2 gw dulu langsung beli, dapet modemnya Hu*wei E1550 yang sebenernya bukan jodohnya Indos*tM2 tapi bininya si Teri. kata yang jual sih, bukan masalah. sampe rumah, kata bokap itu udah tinggal pake aja, udah di instal udah di registrasi ke Indos*tM2 nya. nye nye nye
pas liat kertas2 selimut si kartu perdana Indos*tM2, gw baru tau kalo bokap gw membiarkan si tukang jual modem nge-registrasi-in kartu gw sbg IM2 broom b*stis yang biaya perbulannya Rp 200.000,-
ouwouwouw
padahal gw bilangnya yang 125 rb aja, toh beda kuotanya cuma 0,5 Gb. huhuhuhu
nasi sudah menjadi bubur ayam. salah gw jg sih gw gatau namanya promo IM2 yang 125 rb itu apa. jadi cuma bilang unlimited aja. gataunya yang unlimited banyak juga macamnya.
pesan dari comblang gw si kepiting batak adalah, udah terlanjur, nikmatin aja.
oke. gw nurut deh apa kata kepiting.
taaaapii
belum juga sempet nyobain si IM2, udah penyakitan duluan dia. ga bisa connect. mana bokap ga merhatiin waktu diajarin si tukang jualan modem gimana cara makenya. gw utak atik utek sendiri dengan kemampuan dan pengetahuan gw akan internet yang sangat amat minim sekali ini. sampe gw instal ulang berkali2. ga bisa juga. bokap nyuruh telpon yang jual. katanya, karna di instal ulang jd modemnya harus di set ulang lg dan gw harus dateng ke itu toko bawa modem+laptop. masalahnya, bokap belinya di mangga dua. masa iya gw harus mendaki gunung menyebrang sungai lewati lembah dulu cuma demi bisa berhubungan dgn cinta gw yg baru ini?
bokap nyuruh gw ditemani nyokap ke tempat servis komputer di depan rumah. disitu laptop+modem gw diuplek2 oleh 4 orang berbeda selama hampir 4 jam. sampe yang udah pulang ditelpon, disuruh dateng lg, demi gw. ihi.
tiba2 aja, bisa connect. uwaw. gatau mukjizat darimana.
masalah barunya, kok connectnya cuma bisa ke Indos*t? ternyata oh ternyata salah username. bokap gw lupa username yang dibikinin si tukang jual modemnya itu apa. oh no. intinya itu username merupakan gabungan dari bagian2 nama bokap.
berhubung malam telah larut dan mata sudah berat, gw dan nyokap pulang. pokoknya, masalahnya kan tinggal usernamenya, besok bisa telpon tokonya nanya usernamenya apa.

nanana
paginya gw dapet wangsit. coba2 username yang gw dapat dari wangsit itu, voila!
benar dan gw bisa bercinta-cinta ria dengan internet dan IM2. haha
senangnya
semoga hubungan kami awet dan langgeng2 saja. amin.

_nunus_nunuy_

weirdest heels I`ve ever seen

2009-05-19T15:37:00.013+07:00

iseng
udah lama banget ga ngepost di blog.

hasil keisengan gw search gambar2 high heels, terus nemu beberapa yang bener2 aneh dan gue gak bisa bayangin orang kaya apa yang make heels kaya gitu.
silahkan menikmati!!

katanya high heels tapi ga ada heelsnya

keren sih, tapi tetep aneh

heel-thumb

serem liatnya

sama aja

lucu

FYI, tiga heels di atas hasil karyanya versace. wew.

aneh

woaha

Chocolate-high-heels. made of chocolate. could you wear them?

guess its enough for now.
see ya

Life is Basically about Achievement

2009-03-07T14:38:00.001+07:00

When we were just born
We were proud to see how glad our parents of having us
When we grow as baby
We were proud to see how many people're attracted with our laughs and cries
When we grow as kid
We were proud to see how many friends we got
When we grow as teen
We were proud to see how much our boy/girlfriend loves us
When we get to college
We will proud to see how proud our parents of us
When we're all grown up
We will proud to find the true love of our lives
When we graduate and get a job
We will proud to see how people react of knowing the cumlaude or the cool job
When we get married
We will proud to see what a good husband/wife we got
When we get babies
We will proud to know how proud our parents was of having us
When we watch our kids grow up
We will proud to know how proud our parents was of raising us
It goes on
And on
And when it comes to an end
We will be heavenly proud of knowing that the heaven is waiting for us

SEKOLAH SIALAN

2009-02-13T08:44:00.002+07:00

hari ini,
utk yg kesekian kalinya sejak sekolah masuk jam 6.30 gw dateng telat.
dan bukan krn salah gw.
tapi karna tukang ojek yg BEGO.
uda tau gw telat.
jalannya kaya siput.

satpam sekolah jg sialan.
gw uda masuk,dikejar disuruh keluar.
ANJRIT.
SIALAN.
BANGET.

GW SUMPAHIN DIA SIAL SEMBILAN BELAS TURUNAN ! ! !

SIALAN.

sori kata2 gw kasar.
ESMOSI.

NAJONG BGT DAH.

intinya,
gw SANGAT GA SETUJU SEKOLAH DIBIKIN MASUK JAM 6.30.
ditambah sekolah yg ga mau ngerti,
kalo murid2nya yg telat masih nunggu di depan gerbang sampe siang karna emang pengen belajar.
masi jg ga bole masuk.

uda tau jalanan d jakarta tu ga pernah ga macet.
sekolah masuk lebi pagi berarti kemacetan dimulai lebi pagi.
kalo mau beneran ga macet,
sekalian aj bikin sekolah masuk jam stenga 5 pagi.
solat subuh d sekolah.
baru dah it ga kena macet.
ato munkin ntar macetnya jadi lebi pagi lg gt.
jam stenga 5 uda macet.
haha.

MASI UNTUNG GW BERANGKAT SEKOLAH.
MALAH GA BOLE MASUK.
SIALAN.
GW BENCI SEKOLAH INDONESIA.

okay,
gw uda cape ngetik.

sampe jumpa d kesempatan lain gw sempet buka blog ditengah kesibukan (+kegilaan) menjelang simak.

HELPS FOR PALESTINE : WHERE WILL THEY ALL GO??

2009-01-15T07:40:00.001+07:00

As we all know Israel's been crazily bombing Gazza for this last weeks.Couldnt even called as 'War'.Its an Agression.No balance of power at all.
& Israel said that they did it to fight against Hammas as a SELF DEFENSE.
Hello. .!!
They're bombing hospitals,masjids,schools,civillian houses!!
And what do Israel civillians do?They go to a top of a mountain closest to Gazza & watch the bombing with laugh & smiles as if its a circus show.They said:"this all no big problem.Means nothing to us"

I doubt they still got their brain in the head.

From the latest news I heard,its now been more than 900 Palestinians died. Including >400 children. >4000 injured.

World is in humanity crisis.
People around the world were demonstrating,screaming,asking for ruth.Trying to support Palestine.

But do all that make any sense?All the money we've donated,all the food,medicines,volunteers.They stucked in Rafah.
Palestine's been totally isolated.
We cant even deliver food&medicines.

So I got this confusion.
Soo many Social Organizations were collecting donations for Palestine.
But how will they deliver them?
Even helps from United Nations still cant get through.
Yesterday, I heard that the gate to Gazza was opened for 3 hours to let the helps be delivered.
There're like hundreds of trucks carrying tons of life supplies.
How could they possibly deliver them all in 3hours?
Even,they cant distribute it straight to the victims.They're stopped by some Israel militans.
These zionists said that they will distribute the helps,and they told this people to unload the trucks.

Now the question is:where will they all go?
Can anyone warranty they'll get to the right hand?

Back to the local supports for Palestine.Almost every day we heard about local demonstrations supporting Palestine, promoted by some political parties.
Its okay if they meant to show the world that they do care.But all the political flags do annoy me a bit.
Arent they just taking chances?

Cuz its about months to the election.

Well,Now the thing is,What can we possibly do to be actually helping?Cuz any donations wont mean a thing if they cant get through.
I was thinking stupidly about military helps.Such amunitions,war planes,bombs maybe.That seems can never be real though.
LOL!!

After all,
We absolutely cant just holding hands & pray.
We need to do something.
We cant hope for the Untd. Nations to do anything cuz they only work under U.S.A&Israel's order

TOP SECRET

2008-11-21T19:13:00.002+07:00

WARNING
THESE FOLLOWING TEXTS ARE FOR 17+
CHILDREN UNDERAGE BETTER STOP READING THIS FROM NOW ON

I`m telling you guys a top secret.
It`s about a thing that my mom told me in secret (which she was told by my dad`s brother – we can say my uncle).

Do anyone knows why some couple sometimes can only have sons or daughters?
Is it only God will?
Don`t you think that we also take part of causing it?
Do you wanna know the secret to have a son?

Well, i`ll tell you so.
It`s about the making love – or having sex – part.

If a couple wanna have a son, the woman better be turned on (get the passion) to do the husband and wife thing.
Cuz there`s some kind of enzyme on women`s vagina that can kill the Y-sperm (it`s the sex chromosome for boys). This enzyme is produced only if the woman doesn`t feel good and enjoy the making section.

Got it?

It means, if the woman doesn`t enjoy the making section, the couple will have a baby girl.
So, poor to all girls.

But, to be noted, this just what my uncle said, as long, I haven`t found any medical info that proven this theory.

(what really was this writing about? Seriously . . .)

See you on the next unimportant posting.

_nunus_nunuy_

CANDID PHOTOS,, A MUST SEE ! ! !

2008-11-12T17:21:00.001+07:00

hari ini gw terserang virus baru.
yaitu virus iseng.

seperti hari-hari biasa gw pulang sekola nunggu bis di halte depan UNTAR . . .
namun . . .
ada yang tidak biasa hari ini . . .

di hadapan gw muncul seorang mahasiswi ajaib yang sedang duduk santai menunggu bis . . .
hal yang ajaib dari dia adalah rambutnya. sumpah. ajaib banget. rada gimbal gimana gitu . . . yang jelas si gimbalnya GIMBAL ALAMI ! ! !

dialah yang memicu kambuhnya penyakit iseng gw . . .

iseng-iseng gw keluarin hape,,terus gw poto candid rambutnya . . .
tenang,,tenang,,gw bakal masukin poto2nyaa . . .

bener kan ajaib rambutnyaa??? kaya ga perna keramas berapa bulan . . .
tadinya gw mengira dia cuma sekadar mbakteng (mbak2 tengil,,temennya masteng). . .
tapii terus gw liat kalo di tangannya tergenggam dua buah buku teks tebel khas mahasiswa . . .
dan tahulah gw kalo dia tu emang seorang mahasiswi . . . wow . . .
dan gw sempet ngambil poto mukanya loooohhh . . .
candid juga . . . gw lakukan pas gw duduk persis di sebelahnya . . .
dan dia ga sadar . . . hwahahaha
ni dia potonya

terus terus,,karna gw udah terlanjur terjangkiti penyakit iseng . . .
selama di bis pun gw iseng-iseng poto candid makhluk-makhluk penghuni sementara bis tujuan karawaci-tangerang yang ada di sekitar gw . . .

berikut ini beberapa poto model dadakan hari ini . . .

*model dadakan pertama: mbak2 berjaket pink (didalemnya dia pake kaos ketat mini yg kekecilan sampe2 belahan keteknya keliatan . . .) yang sepanjang jalan mbaca sebuah majalah bertajuk "LOOKS". berhubung gw berdiri dan dia duduk,,gw pun bisa ngeliat apa isi majalah yang dibacanya ituu . . . numpang baca gituu . . . dan,,sepanjang yang gw liat tu majalah isinya emang melulu soal "LOOKS" alias penampilan . . . mulai dari fashion di gossip girl,,fashionnya para musisi dunia,,artis-artis hollywood,,dan sebagainya dan sebagainya . . .
yang bikin aneh adalah,,ni mbak tampilannya sama sekali ga kaya orang yang fashion holic (bukannya gw ngerti banget soal fesyen,,tapi kan,,mestinya tampilan seorang fesyen holic tu beda . . .). gw ngambil lumayan banyak foto candidnya lohhh . . . meskipun semuanya poto2 candid ga kreatip,,maklum posisi gw ga strategis wat ngambil poto terbaiknyaa. hwehe

*model kedua: gadis sma bertampang hopeless. gw ga terlalu merhatiin ni anak si,,cuma dari awal gw naek bis dia ngeliatin gw terus . . . entah kenapa . . .

*model ketiga: mas-mas yang baca sambil berdiri. ga penting si . . . namanya juga lagi iseng . . .

*model ke empat: ibu-ibu yang tidurnya mangap. gada yang istimewa tentang ibu ini. tapi gw agak merasa berdosa sama si ibu,, karna ternyata si ibu ini orangnya baiik,,dia nawarin gw duduk pas orang disebelahnya turun.

*model terakhir: ibu-ibu muda nan montok yang kayanya udah nangkep basah tindakan kriminal tak bertanggung jawab gw. jadi dia nyadar dan malingin muka gitu pas gw jepret.

keisengan gw hari ini berakhir disitu. benernya masi pengen lanjut,,tapii batre hape uda ga mendukung,,jadii,,sampai jumpa pada kali lain penyakit iseng gw kambuh . . .

si yu

_nunus_nunuy_

SUMPAH,,GA PERLU DIBACA

2008-11-10T16:06:00.003+07:00

''UDAH UJHAN BECHEQ BANYAK OJHEQ''

musim ujan uda 'says hi' ma jakarta.
kalo kata pembaca brita tipi one si ini baru 'appetizer' nya . . .
blum nyampe 'main course' . . .

emang bener si,, buktinya halte depan untar(univ. tarumanegara) & CL (citra land) blum banjir setinggi DADA org dewasa (nape tulisan 'dada' nya jd hurup kapital smua gt si). . .

hari senin,,10 november '08,,skitar pukul 15.10,,di tengah ujan lebat,,gw,,berdiri dgn manis di halte depan untar,,ditemani payung oren (jupan bgt) gambar helokity,,dgn sabar menunggu bis jurusan karawaci tangerang,,daerah tempat dimana ruma gw terletak berada (bahasa gw ga epektip bgt dah)

pukul 15.36,,gw uda duduk manis d dalem bis jurusan ruma tercinta,,di sebelah ibu2 kantoran yg berbadan khas ibu2 kantoran (seperti apakah badannya? liat aja ibu2 kantoran d skitar lu) ,,tu ibu2 mentang2 pegang kuasa karna naek duluan,,ngasi gw duduk d pojok yg dket jendela.
taulah jendela bis pas ujan deres gimana,,dgn kualitas angkutan umum d indonesia,,biarpun ga bocor,,embun yg bercampur karat bakal menodai baju seragam gw yg putih bersih tak bernoda . . . (bnernya ada si,,noda2 bekas kecipratan becheqan)

yah,,sampe disini dulu,,gw uda bingung mu nulis apa lg,,mari kita sama2 nunggu 'main course' dan 'desert' nya pada 'say hi' terus (smoga) cepet2 'say good bye'. . .

ngemeng2,, gw uda mulai kecipratan tetes2 ujan nii . . .

(sumpah,,ni posting ga penting bgt,,pasti yg baca nyesel,,gw aja yg nulis nyesel,,mau diapus,,sayang,,posting gw kan baru dikit,,itung2 nambah jumlah postinganlah . . .hwehe)

sampe jumpa d posting brikutnya.

DADA h

hwehe

_nunus_nunuy_

BARU NYADAR GAPTEK

2008-11-09T07:15:00.002+07:00

gw nulis ini pagi2 melek (biasanya kan pagi2 buta)
niat ngerjain peer kimia dari bu gin (salah satu guru senior 78 yg terkenal rewel,,pokonya jgn cari masalah ma dia d . . .brabe ntar) ttg halogen yg jg bkal jd materi ulangan besok.
tapii tapii.
gw teringat alamat blognya bekantan (cem2an nya ijul yg daun muda ituu).
dan gw iseng2 buka blognya pake hape (biarpun line internet ruma gw uda bner,,gw ga mau nyari mati dgn buka internet pagi2 cuma wat baca blog,,bisa d caci maki ma nyokap gw)
terus2 di blognya bekantan ad banyak link ke blog anak2 78 . . .
(cukup tau aja,,gw bahkan gatau gimana caranya bkin link kya bgtu).
terus2 gw iseng2 (pulsa lg lumayan) buka2 blog mereka . . . bahkan gw sempet meninggalkan komen kurang ajar d blognya nabil yg ga satupun postingnya gw baca mpe abis (maap ya bil) . . .
hwehe

mnurut gw yg tulisannya enak d baca emang blognya jazman ma bekantan . . .

gw jd terkagum2 ma kecanggihan mereka dalam mengolah blognya . . .

gw jg jd nyadar ternyata gw tu gapteknya banget2 ya . . .
hik hik hiks

tapii tapii harap maklum dun . . .
gw kan masi pemula dalam dunia blogging inii . . .
abisnya blog lama gw angus kayanya . . .
gara2 : gw LUPA PASSWORD nyaa ! !
huh!
padahal tu blog jg blum ad apa2nya sii . . .

terus2 pas ijul memutuskan wat bkin blog 5 bintang (5 bintang itu jdul drama kelompok anak2 super lebay d kls xi ipa f yg terdiri dari : ijul sbg ipi kecil (+ sutradara + ide crita + pnulis naskah ) , fitri sbg ivy (ipi yg uda gde,,kbayang ga tu,,ijul metamorfosis jadi fitri pas uda gde,,hwehe) , dea sbg dena kecil , gw sbg dena gde (+ pnulis naskah) , adzan sbg awan kecil , iwan sbg awan gde, tono sbg tora kecil, prima sbg tora gde, agung sbg ado kecil, edo sbg ado gde (keajaiban terjadi lg saat agung bruba jadi edo) dan patrick (yan daniel) sbg devil dan ayu sbg angel yg lemot . . .
hwahahaha!

terus2 knapa jd ngemengin 5 bintang?

pan sbenernya gw mu crita kalo gw dapet inspirasi wat bkin blog lg dari ide ijul bkin blog 5 bintang . . .

yah,yg mu gw sampein bnernya cuma gw nyadar (amat sangat nyadar skale) kalo gw emang GAPTEK . . . ! ! !

karna itu,,gw pengen nuhun bantuannya . . .
bantuin gw mempercanggih blog gw inii . . .

hwehe

tapii tapii kalo urusan facebook gw uda lumayan expert dun . . . .
hwehehe

biarpun tetep aj,,gw ga ngarti gmana cranya masukin link fb d blog inii??

yaud.krna jatah wordsnya uda mu abis. sampe d sini dlu.

_nunus_nunuy_

sejarah perubahan nama gw dari NUNUS jadi NUNUY dan tiba2 jadi MUMUS

2008-11-08T21:43:00.002+07:00

kali ini gw akan bercerita ttg gmana prosesnya sampe nama gw bruba dari nunus menjadi nunuy . . .

sbenernya gw jg gatau pasti gimana sjarahnya gw dipanggil nunus (dari nama panjang gw Nusaibah Nadia Juliafina,,gw cukup bruntung punya nama cuma 3 kta,,gw punya tmen yg namanya mpe 5 kta,,bayangkan btapa menderitanya dia pas harus ngebuletin ljk uan,umb,snmptn,ato apa pun itu)
yg jelas,sejak gw bisa inget sejarah hidup gw sendiri (skitar wktu tk) gw uda dipanggil nunus . . .
dan yg menyedihkannya . . . ad seorang temen skelas gw d kls xii sma ini yg berinisial K yg dgn polosnya bertanya : ''gw agak bingung de,,ko bisa dari nama 'nusaibah nadia juliafina' jd d panggil 'MUMUS' ??
baca bae2 skali lg tulisan d atas.
yap. benar skale.
tertulis MUMUS bukan nunus,,dan bukan karna gw salah ketik . . .
nyesek bgt ga si . . .
pengen gw garukin dah jempol tu anak . . . (ko jempol? entahlah,,cuma yg mampir d kpala gw itu,,jd daripada mikir lg,,ya gw ketik aj)
karna gw ini orgnya termasuk sangat sabar dan pemaaf (kalo lg pengen tapi) jadi gw jelaskan dgn bae2,,kalo nama panggilan gw tu bukan mumus tapi nunus yg nampaknya diambil dari nama depan gw,,nusaibah . . .
skrg kalo dipikir2 nama mumus tu cucok bgt wat jd nama hamster ato marmut yg lucu,kecil,berbulu dan imut2 . . .
biarpun gw emang lucu,berbulu dan imut2,,tetep aj masa iya ad manusia yg namanya mumus . . . (maap2 ya kalo emang bneran ad)

sekarang beralih ke sejarah nama nunuy yg trcipta pas gw kelas x sma . dan penciptanya adalah makhluk berjidat luas berambut ajaib hasil smoothing-an bernama rino rinaldi winsrizal arifin (dia termasuk salah satu org yg gw kasihani karna namanya yg lumayan panjang bkal bkin dia ngbuang waktu lebi banyak pas ngebuletin ljk uan,umb,snmptn,dan apapun itu)
gw jg gatau pasti dapet ide dari mana tu makhluk manggil gw dgn panggilan bgtu . . .
meskipun gw lebi terima dipanggil nunuy daripada mumus (yg sangat amat jauh skale dr nama gw yg sbenarnya)

kalo ada yg berpikir 'aduh,ni posting ga penting amat si,nyesel gw bacanya'
maap ya . . .
yah,tapi tapi, kaya bkal ad yg baca aj . . .
hwehe

yaud. kali (sungai,danau,empang,comberan,wc plung-lap,mck,got) ini sampe dsini dlu.

gud bae.

_nunus_nunuy_

ACROSS THE UNIVERSE

2008-11-08T10:07:00.002+07:00

gw nulis ini dlm perjalanan mnuju tmpat les trcinta,,NF palmerah . . . hwehe

sperti yg uda byk diketahui org,,across the universe adlh sbuah pilem yg didedikasikan bwat sbuah band yg lagu2nya bkal dikenang dan dinyanyikan terus spanjang sejarah manusia . . . (lebay bgt dah kata2 gw)
yap,, ap lg kalo bukanTHE BEATLES . . .

dgn bruntung smalem gw bisa mencuri waktu d sela kesibukan gw (tidur,ngemil,mandi,buka facebook) wat nonton tu pilem dlm format dvd (uda pasti bajakan) yg gw pinjem dr salah satu tmen skola gw (d 78 trcinta yg skrg cetnya jd oren2 kaya bajaj ma metromini gt,,mentang2 anak2nya kalo pulang skola suka naek bajaj ma metromini)
dan kesan gw stelah nonton ntu pilem . . .
''ini termasuk pilem porno ga si?''
kalo iya,brarti gw uda ngelanggar uu pornografi yg bru aj d sahkan ituu dun?
hwadoh!!

maap2 aj,,krna bwat gw pilem plg porno yg perna gw tonton tu level parahnya aj cuma american pie . . .
hwahahaha!

bwat yg uda perna nonton across the universe,,pasti ngerti ap yg gw maksud porno itu.
tapi bwat yg blum nonton,, gw bilangin aja,, ini bukan tipe pilem yg bisa lu tonton bareng nenek-kakek ato bokap lu . . .
knp gw ga bilang ga bole nnton ma nyokap?
karna gw sndiri nontonnya bareng nyokap . . .
gokil kan . . .
hwahahaha

stelah nonton tu pilem,,gw jg jadi menyadari,,kalo lagu2nya the beatles tu bukannya cuma ttg cinta2an duan . . . tapi menyimpan makna yg sangat dalam . . .
kta nyokap gw,,the beatles tu lagu2nya menyuarakan protes trhadap pemerintah u.s.a ttg perang vietnam . . .
pngetahuan brharga bgt tu wat gw . . .

yaah,,gw binun mu nulis ap lg . . .
yaud,,mpe disini dlu . . .

_nunus_nunuy_

kamut (kata2 mutiara) yang ga sengaja mampir di kepala gw yang memorinya minim ini

2008-10-26T07:43:00.001+07:00

Semua awal dan akhir itu baik.
Tak ada yang buruk dan tak bisa menjadi buruk.
Yang bisa menjadi buruk hanyalah proses diantaranya.
– Nad

Kebanyakan berpendapat
Berbohong itu mudah
Tidak sepenuhnya benar sih

Mengawali kebohongan memang mudah
Mempertahankan kebohongan itu sendirilah yang sulit

Mengakhirinya juga tidak sulit
Menghadapi konsekuensinya baru sulit
– Nad

Untuk beberapa hal
Lawanku tak perlu berusaha untuk menjatuhkanku
Karena tanpa ia berusahapun
Aku sudah jatuh sendiri
– Nad

Tidak ada anak yang bersikap baik pada ibunya
Mereka hanya bersikap baik ketika masih sangat kecil dan ketika mereka sudah sangat tua
Mungkin
– kumpulan pendapat dari sebuah novel yang kubaca
Sejak aku dilahirkan
Sampai sekarang
Segalanya telah berubah
Akupun berubah
Hanya ketololanku yang tetap bertahan
– Nad

Belakangan ini aku mulai menyadari
Bahwa hidup tak selalu mempunyai awal dan akhir
Buktinya adalah tumpukan pekerjaanku yang masih setengah jalan
– Nad

Sebelum merendahkan orang lain
Coba suruh orang itu berdiri di tempat tertinggi yang bisa dicapainya
Dan kau berjongkoklah serendah yang kau bisa
Nah, sekarang siapa yang lebih rendah?
– kumpulan pendapat dari sebuah novel yang kubaca

Orang bilang: “Gantungkan cita-citamu setinggi bintang di langit!”
Jangankan untuk mewujukannya
Untuk menggantungkannya saja susahnya minta ampun
– Nad

Biarkan khayalanmu melanglang buana setinggi munkin
Agar bila jatuh, setidaknya tidak terlalu rendah
– Nad
Orang bilang berkhayal itu susah
Berimajinasi itu sulit
Mereka salah besar
Berkhayal dan berimajinasi itu tidak ada bedanya
Sama-sama gampang
Yang susah mewujudkannya dalam bentuk realita
– Nad

Tidak tahu kenapa
Semua jadi begini
Bukan, bukan semua
Hanya aku
Aku sendiri
Dan tetap tidak tahu kenapa
Ada yang bisa beri tahu?
– Nad

Berharap
Seandainya ada orang di sini
Tidak harus orang sih
Apa saja boleh
Asal bisa diajak bicara
Bisa mendengarkanku
Bisa membuatku merasa ada
Bukannya membuatku merasa dibutuhkan
Tidak, itu terlalu muluk
Hanya untuk membuatku merasa ada
Sudah
Itu saja
– Nad

Tahu tidak arti kata bunuh?
Apalagi setelah diberi imbuhan mem-
Itulah yang ingin kulakukan pada manusia di hadapanku
Sekarang
– Nad